How did you get Hooked into RSE?
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RSE The Enlightened Reich?
How did I end up in a cult?
The hook that gets you and the hook that keeps you in the RSE
Ramtha is a drug and JZ is just another pusher
The School of Victimization: or how to hate yourself and make another very rich
Great Site, a few questions
Disintegration into the Altered Ego
I just read this in a post by denotesmeaning.
It's like someone beating you on the daily while at the same time telling you how much they love and care for you....Massive confusion!
I remember when Jan Marshall was killed in a head on collision (the accident not related to R$E). I had just had my son earlier that year and had been spending a lot of time with Jan, she would help with him as I was so overwhelmed at having just turned 19 and having a head full of ramtha, I was trying to create my own days but had an incredibly fussy infant to care for in a 5th wheel trailer on a raw piece of land with no electricity or running water while his father was away at work all day. She would let me come to her house and shower myself and bathe my son and just hang out with me, I was so alone and felt like I was such a failure for not being happy inside with my new baby. I was basically scared to death as everyone was just walking around like I should just know what to do and create perfection in my day and if I was scared or unhappy it was totally my own fault. Jan was so special to me, bless her heart and soul, she could see I was struggling and she didn't ignore it, she reached out to me to help and comfort me as a mother would a daughter. I was so sad at her death, and I had just broken up with my sons father when she died and I felt like all his friends hated me (Jeff Marshall and all those "builder" guys) I didn't feel welcome at her funeral so I didn't go. It was at the time I was just beginning my wake-up and get the F out of there phase, which btw took about 6 years to do for me, this is just my story. Anyways, 6 years later I stopped going to the ranch all together, my last event was in 98. But I have carried around with me for the last 15 years the baggage of that place (with a little help from family that still goes, I still hear about the crap teachings in conversations) and not until now, that I've found you guys can I say with out a shadow of a doubt that I don't believe ANYTHING that is taught there and for the first time in my life I feel free and not alone, because of you guys. I cannot tell you how people who are not familiar with R$E really have no idea what we've been through.....
Before anyone passes judgement for someone leaving their child behind, please understand the children of rse. There is more than you may understand. I know of many in similar situations. It is like running from a abusive relationship. Much Confusion, listen to our stories!
Sunshine, you are sunshine into the lives of many!
Your story touched me deeply and I wanted to reiterate what Rooster has said so well, and you are not alone. All of us that have pulled free from rse, and it isn't just simply leaving as some people may think, there is a process, a deliberate, difficult and emotionally overwhelming process, can help enable others to do the same. It truly hurts my soul over the friends I once shared a bond like no other with, that I had to walk away from, for my own sanity and well being. They view me as lost and see my choice of leaving rse as ignorant and a virtual death sentence. There are days that I wish I could just pick up the phone and pick back up the relationships I had, but understand how unhealthy and foolish of me that would be, even though I love and miss them terribly. I understand what its like to feel pushed away and regarded as a scarlet letter wearing outcast among the group that I at one time bonded with, and enjoyed wonderful and memorable times, its painful, and confusing, and permanent. It takes deliberate and at times emotional action for me to keep that line drawn in the sand with my ramster friends, as they are convinced they are right and justified in their behavior and choices, and I know the truth about jz knight and the cult they find themselves deeply embroiled in, hypnotized by jz/r's words and manipulative dogma. There is just no getting through to them, and it is like watching someone slowly die of a terminal illness, with the cure at arms reach, only they have convinced themselves that if they just think positively enough, or drink enough wine, or focus on the light of a candle enough, they will by way of MAGIC, be released from the inevitable. The saddest aspect is they find me, the one person who honestly loves them and holds the cure to their disease, no strings attached, as the enemy, and view the person that is keeping them sick (jz knight) as their lord and savior.
I know that these relationships, that I still cherish from afar, will never be what they were, but maybe one day, with enough of us waking from the nightmare of rse, and sharing with them the beauty that life holds when they push jz's boot off their neck, and then they too can share their example of recovering from rse's cycle of abuse, and bring about change in the others still there who have yet to find their way.
Thank you for sharing this Sunshine
I was very good friends with Jeff, and Jan and Jayana.
being such a young mother and such a young person in the school....and slowly weaving your way out Sunshine...My heart
goes out to you.
It is so difficult at times.
Some days will be fine, others, not so fine.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.......