In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

The stories of people who have been in RSE, and the red flags that caused them to step back, ponder it all, and realize it's time to leave, are varied and diverse. Post your story here to help others.
Jingz
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:52 am

In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Sat Nov 03, 2012 2:46 am

Hello Everyone;
I'm a newby poster here, but i have been a follower of this site for years. With everything that is going on right now, I would like to say you all should be so proud of yourselves for all the help you're giving to people, especially the many like myself who check the site regularly but never post. Bravo!!!!

I chose this topic to start off because this site helped me "in the waking of my slumber" to listen to my inner voice and WAKE UP. I stumbled across this site a few months prior to my last even with Rambles (of all the nic-names, this one truly is my favourite!), I read a few posts and to be honest all i heard were 'victims' & 'whiners', i felt like if you don't like it get over it, geeeeez.

Then i went to my last event in wondrous Yelm. I should back up a bit, I have a family member who is a lifer in the school, she introduced me to it, my first event was "the last time Ramtha will teach a beginners!!!!!!You have to come!!!!" So i went, myfamily wanted me to check it out anyways, they were all worried it might be some kind of cult! A 3 day intro and i loved everything i learned, except C&E, couldn't figure it out!? I was blowing, adjusting, aching and internally whining! It's apparently timelessness when you reach the void which many of the seasoned ramites assured me that it just takes a little practice and you'll get there. I immediately bought all the cd's i could to take back home with me as i wasn't sure i would return. I think i went to 3 beginners, i could never make the follow-ups, so i believe i escaped much of the negative, because as you all know the teachings are all about great stuff at the beginners. I did an 8 day retreat and i hated it, i was tired, cold, wet, hungry, dirty, miserable, day 4 i was ready to leave, and then the miraculous happened....i found my card! After endless hours walking around the horse pen with the rain lapping down, i found my freaking card! That night Dr Joe spoke about our emotional bodies and he was the best teacher i had ever had. Now i was hooked! The hard life to enlightenment wasn't for me though, so I would look for retreats around the world where i could stay in a hotel, with a bed and fresh shower, meals provided, if i was going to shell out all the money anyways, I may as well make it as comfortable as possible then i only had to toil on my own journey to enlightenment, i mean it can happen in but a moment, right, and i thought that's what would happen for me.

Now back to my last event, i had such an attitude, it was the worst and it seemed to come out of me there, in Yelm. I would arrive early and my family member (fm) would meet me and we would go around town visiting her friends and i would be so shocked at how poorly they all lived, like electricity and running water are luxuries! In my head i'm saying, aren't these the people who have endless 'pots of gold' drawings on the field? How come Salma Hayek can manifest 1.5 mil and so many aren't even eating properly? JZ house is 12,000 sq feet? Really? Does that include an indoor pool? Wtf, why doesn't she help these people out? And where is she? I mean even when Rambles doesn't come down, why doesn't she do the field work, or c&e????So many questions...So event, did i mention i'm a primary now, yep managed to make a couple in a row, and the DTC teachings...well now i'm learning the stuff the beginners don't get to learn, I'm sooo lucky! Except, there's nothing good in these teachings, not the science (pseudo or otherwise) even the religious history was interesting before, now it's all terrorizing, but don't have fear because it will take you down! Yeah okay, the world is ending so i will fearlessly start digging a hole i guess and spend hours up all night looking for the best deals on wheat berries! How can i believe some and not all?(Oh i can laugh now, my poor husband he just listened, never said a word) but i won't be afraid, no. So the teachings are terrorizing, or they're wasting my time trying to 'see' where the roulette ball will land next, the field is soggy and wet and oh my heck, i get to go to my first tank! Well the tank really did it for me, hit me right on the head and said This is ABUSE and I am paying for the luxury of receiving it! That was it, stayed in my trailer (yeah had to rent that, and i was so thankful i did!!!) for the field work, listened to the teachings, yep was honoured with the Rambles coming down so he could tell the Caterpillar/Butterfly story again for the FIFTH time! With the vast amount of wisdom that could be procured from an all enlightened being why does he have to repeat the stories so much? I walked out of there, see you later, and then i became an avid reader of this site, followed many interesting journeys and watched as you all helped each other. Many of you were much like my family member is now, really hooked, she given her life away to Rambles, walked away from her family and friends because how could we ever understand?, and would surely drink the Kool-Aid.

So a few months after my last visit to Yelm i got an email about an event I could get online, 3 days of Extraordinary Teachings!!!!! I rationalized because i could watch from the comfort of my own home so i spent the money and wasted 15 hours of my life listening to drunk Rambles go on and on about Chivalrous love and how men don't have a clue how to love women....blah blah blah, music rambles hanging off people, my family is going bowling, to the movies, fun laughs and i'm wasting my time in front of the computer....then the Caterpillar story, AGAIN, SERIOUSLY!? And in a moment i swore not another minute, not a cd, book, card...nothing. So i came back here and guess what, that was at the same time as Virginia and James whole deal and then it all made sense! No wonder we got that wackjob teaching, had i known about the affair thing i'm sure the teaching would have made much more sense to me, but it didn't matter, click, click, click, i was back in the right frame of mind and this site helped get me there. Now, i've been out for many years and although i didn't bet my whole bankroll on this scam, i was surely duped, and i have to watch my FM lose what little bit is left of her life and her mind. Thanks to you all, David, Robair, Virginia, Vanilla, Tree, Ex...so many trying to remember off the top of my head, Sad Grandfather, i feel like i know you all. Apologies for my own rambles here, it took me years to work up the courage.

Jingz

RoyGBiv
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by RoyGBiv » Sat Nov 03, 2012 2:05 pm

awesome story, Jingz.
I haven't quite found the headspace to write my own story yet but I will soon.
Hey, glad to see you got out with your skin! two thumbs up

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Robair
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Location: Nevada

Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Robair » Sat Nov 03, 2012 2:57 pm

Hello Everyone

Hello Jngz Welcome! thank you for your story

For all of us here at EMF it is always a good day to hear that we have been instrumental in helping someone to wake up from this RSE nightmare. David, Freemysoul, and I provide the venue and the tools but the real help in dealing with the aftermath of RSE come from all on here who come to the rescue.
Thank you everyone
Robair
I Value Things Not For What They Worth But For What They Represent

Jingz
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Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:52 am

Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Sun Nov 04, 2012 1:25 am

Thanks Robair, and thanks also to Freemysoul as I omitted from my ramblings above, although unintentioned, I was trying to remember off the top mod my head.

seriously
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by seriously » Sun Nov 04, 2012 6:26 am

Jngz, welcome aboard and congratulations on getting your life back. Hopefully, your family member will be able to get back to the land of the living too.
I mean even when Rambles doesn't come down, why doesn't she do the field work, or c&e????
Excellent point. I know when I was there it was understood JZ was at the highest plain or vibration or whatever. Ya, she obviously doesn't need to do the work. She hasn't aged a day since she appeared on the Merv Griffin show.

Merv Griffin appearance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_PIoLTVcf8

See the link below. She's just as beautiful as ever. Just because JZ doesn't have to do C&E to maintain her youthful appearance, doesn't mean you don't have to. If you really work on your disciplines, you can get similar results.....except you'll be destitute and old.

Somewhat recent crazy rant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs-iuHHN0vE

Rooster
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Rooster » Sun Nov 04, 2012 10:56 am

Welcome Jingz,
I wish you the best in recovery. I surely hope you do not continue to see whiners/ victims in recovering hurt individuals. They are here to tell thier stories and yes, they have experienced pain. We want them to be comfortable and to feel safe in doing so. Some have been in the school a short time, some many years. We understand recovery takes time. We are here in support any time. I enjoyed hearing your story, Thank you!

Jingz
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:52 am

Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Sun Nov 04, 2012 4:30 pm

Thanks for the welcome! I reread my post and I guess I should have clarified about the 'victims and whiners', meaning with the brainwashed mind I couldn't see the truth of what was here, I wanted to believe in the fantasy of ramtha. That is why we struggle with the people in our lives that are still stuck, we have to be victims and whiners or their fairytale ends. But really in many ways reviewing this site while still 'believing' created the right amount of cracks to enable me to open my eyes while at my last event. Those cracks led me back here, and now with new eyes, the pieces fell together for me. Honestly, nothing but respect and gratitude to each and every one of you. You were all instrumental in finding my way out of ramthaland.

Kelku
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Kelku » Sun Nov 04, 2012 7:09 pm

Hi JingZ
and welcome...
Good to have you here and thank you for your enjoyable post.

I smiled when you mentioned the 'Caterpillar-Butterfly' story although it also triggers me.
I did one beginning event for myself and about 15 as a translator.... I must have had that story running through my brain a felt thousand times ....such as EVERYTHING at rse is repetition.. and more repetition.
And then all the repetitions to the 'advanced' students because 'they need the reminder' when truly only the schedule has to be filled with enough program for exhaustion not to be interrupted....so they keep students running with a tight schedule with no time to think (-and if they approve time to contemplate, they say what to contemplate about) - then out gain in the cold or the rain, getting up superearly and rushing for the mealbreaks so to have some time for a cig and a visit to the toilet...bah)

Funny also, you preferred world-tour events cause of they offer a bit more comfort. I also despised the total lack of comfort at Yelm at my only time there. World-tour events were a bit more smooth.
That, on the other hand, is also a good hook for many international rse students...
Mostly they have nice accomodation and regular meal breaks with a nice variety of food, since there is a schedule to follow.
I know of many people that enjoy going to world-tour events but never bother to return to Yelm.
It may be the more luxurious way on the path down deception. ;-)

Although.... with people as Mike or Michelle often in charge of world-tour events the schedule is so tight that the exhaustion is the same, just approached with a bit more comfort.
“Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”
- Sophocles

Rooster
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Rooster » Mon Nov 05, 2012 12:16 am

Thank you Jingz,
I thought that was you meant, I was just not sure.

Vanilla
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Location: Rome, Italy

Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Vanilla » Tue Nov 06, 2012 9:34 pm

I am definitely a whiner and victim, that is me.

I cant help it. I felt really like I was in the darkest part of my life when Ramtha on stage called me out. Like that was my god, my true god. I loved "him" so much. I spent somuch love adoration on ..Rambles to be made an outcast. People coming up to me saying welcome to the club.

Jingz
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:52 am

Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Wed Nov 07, 2012 3:40 am

Vanilla,
Although I have enjoyed many of your posts, I am not familiar with the direct abuse you received from rambles, sorry to hear it, unless that was your awakening! Sort of in the got to be cruel to be kind way. I dont hear whining from anyone here, and all of us have been victimized by jz, some alot worse than others, but the day we woke up we ceased to be her victims. I know that many have languored with depression, PTSD and other mental states, but I believe they are still on the road to recovery, some of us can only handle baby steps while others can just wipe their hands of it and move on.

From your writings I find you intelligent, insightful and you have a great sense of humour! I think your postings do much for many.

I have a little coping mechanism that I find useful when life isn't/doesn't turn out the way I wanted.I call it the silver lining. I get a piece of paper and I write out all the BEST things that can happen now in my life and I act on them. For example when I had a miscarriage years ago and I felt like I couldnt face the world I used this trick, number 1. Drink alcohol 2.Join an acting group that I used to fantasize about....you get the point. Just giving ourselves something to look forward to shifts the kaleidoscope and adds fresh options, fresh ideas. Leaving buxdeluxe college was incredibly freeing for me, no more guilt for not doing or rushing through disciplines, not being able to make the followups...taking trips for purely vacationing and not for world tour events!

freemysoul
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by freemysoul » Wed Nov 07, 2012 5:07 am

Welcome Jingz, I am glad you are here, and thank you for such a thoughtful, emotional post. I look forward to you sharing, and coming together with us in the healing process.
Again, welcome and I am grateful you are here.

Jingz
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:52 am

Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Wed Nov 07, 2012 5:39 pm

Thanks Freemysoul, your words are kind and they touched me.

California Dreamin'
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by California Dreamin' » Thu Nov 08, 2012 2:29 am

Welcome, Jingz,

Thanks for sharing your story. I can relate to much of it, too much of it.

I know that each time one shares their story it is like having to relive it again and is many times painful. Yet, it's therapeutic to download the experience. One never knows which part of their story holds a few magic words that end up being key to someone else's recovery.


Thank you for bringing your energy to EMF.


CD

Tree
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Tree » Thu Nov 08, 2012 1:12 pm

Jingz-

your writings/musings made me chuckle.
You have such a way to encapsulate what it feels like to be sucked in and then
laughing at yourself , especially after the Caterpillar teaching for the umpteenth time!! hahaha!
I feel the same way about Seabiscuit (need the barf emoticon!).

Anyway, thank you for gearing up the courage to write.

Every post contributes to the whole in healing.

Hugs,

Tree

Jingz
Posts: 86
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 12:52 am

Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Fri Nov 09, 2012 3:56 am

Hi Tree, thanks.

Feeling a little fortunate right now as I missed the whole Seabisquit saga, as well as the el camino one I read about on some posts. May I mention that I have been following your posts for years, and I feel because you were also an employee, your views and stories really resonated with me, especially in the early days while I was still straddling the fence on what my beliefs were. I was glad to see you back!

Jingz

Jingz
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:23 am

California,

I realize that each of us has our own degree of abuse to resolve because of this cult, depending on how far down we ventured. It seems because of the negative, ominous reality of rse, the truly devoted good hearted seekers end up coming out of it with the most arduous road to recovery. Where else in our lives is hard work and devotion penalized? That statement stands whether you are still in or out. Look at all the current ramsters who are depressed and feel like total failures because they just can't get it, whatever it is.

It truly is a brain fck and with all that energy expelled it's easy for us to want to give up, give in to the depression that follows not being good enough, the whole why bother attitude. Meanwhile life is passing us by. Jz turned everyone onto Prozac to keep them floating around longer, mask the depression. My fm who is still in there tells me of how many are suffering, sick, depressed...but of course this is an excellent sign that things are really starting to move...lol yes, yes they all must be transmuting those bad attitudes.

My story is really pretty blasé compared to many I have read on here, but like you said if one sentence resonates with one person, I am elated. I didn't give up my family, move out there and dedicate my life to this and lose everything like many that are here did, but it could of happened. I remember thinking enviously about how wonderful it would be to constantly be living in this wonderful frequency! (not sure which one is the barf emoticon) lol

Jingz

California Dreamin'
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by California Dreamin' » Fri Nov 09, 2012 4:24 pm

It seems because of the negative, ominous reality of rse, the truly devoted good hearted seekers end up coming out of it with the most arduous road to recovery. Where else in our lives is hard work and devotion penalized?
Jingz-

Your statement is spot on, and its implications are very sad.


CD

WofthesunEofthemoon
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by WofthesunEofthemoon » Fri Nov 09, 2012 5:50 pm

I remember thinking enviously about how wonderful it would be to constantly be living in this wonderful frequency! (not sure which one is the barf emoticon) lol
ROTFL

WofthesunEofthemoon
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by WofthesunEofthemoon » Fri Nov 09, 2012 6:09 pm

Don't we all want our moral compasses to be so skewed by the 'rambles of Ramtha' that we no longer know north from south, good from bad, or right from wrong? :sad:

All good thoughts to you, Jingz.

W.E

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Sad Grandfather
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Sad Grandfather » Sat Nov 10, 2012 12:39 am

Jingz wrote:(not sure which one is the barf emoticon) lol
Jingz
Here 'ya go.
Image
:lol:
Down with Judith Hampton Knight!

Jingz
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Tue Nov 20, 2012 1:26 am

Maybe we can get this emoticon on the smiley board, posters seem to be needing it a lot when referring to drunky lately!!! I would do it if I had a clue!

Virginia
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Virginia » Tue Nov 20, 2012 11:21 pm

So glad you posted your story. Each and every one helps others. Each one shows another piece of the puzzle of deception and manipulation and of course we all have shared many of the same experiences.

I think what is also telling is that you didn't have to spend an enormous amount of time there to have the mind worm crawl in and it takes a long time to process out. This should give us all extra compassion for many that have been there over 20 years. The ones that have woken up I have the deepest respect for. How horrible it must be for them. This is why I mange not to hate people fighting so hard to protect RSE even if they have to lie to do it. They are so scared of losing their entire identity.

JZ Knight is really unraveling. She is forcing suits that only bring more negative attention to her while not gaining her anything. She is starting to make the dumb moves we expected she would make when alcohol and emotions took over. Every time she drags someone into court the story goes around town again and she keeps the whole thing going. If anyone has caused her unwanted attention it is JZ Knight herself with her sick words, her greed and her sue-happy outdated way of handling crisis. This is already back firing and perpetuating the story. The master of the con is imploding. Its a great time to be watching.

Oldie
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Oldie » Wed Nov 21, 2012 12:21 am

I have virtually been sitting on the edge of my chair for 21 years -
Awaiting for somebody who could strike a the underbelly of this heinous cult
You have my total support Virgina, along with David and all who stand to expose this seductive evil mind trap- set and staged by one woman - JZK
Else

Jingz
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:11 am

I had a chance to see part 1, what a laugh! It is my understanding that drunky (my new nn) rarely even bothers to 'come down ' anymore and it's no wonder, what a mess! My family member doesn't seem to mind paying all that money for a chance to feel special! I dont think she can do it anymore unless shes drunk! I do think this is the perfect storm, events converging and her tragic flaw of the ego will eventually lead to her downfall.

I'm with you though, every name they call you is only evidence of their own traits, their own ugliness, turn the other cheek Virginia for they know not what they do...you can't teach a person to have class, or style you have both. And I am sure that god-given gumption you bestow will serve you well as you go through this. No wonder she's so frigging jealous of you! Lol

Funny how I've achieved more enlightenment on the outside of buxdeluxe college then I ever could have on the inside! Love your enemies, it drives them nuts!

Jingz

Jingz
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Re: In A Moment I Awoke from my slumber

Unread post by Jingz » Wed Nov 21, 2012 4:40 am

I think another reason I didn't get fully caught up in the insanity was because of the love and support I had at home. I married one of the greatest guys ever. He gave me the freedom to explore my intention to better myself. I know I read about this on another thread, but every event I attended, many people told me that if my husband wasn't a student it would never last! I would always ask them why? I would end up with some regurgitated ramble about how my evolution would be too far ahead of his blah,blah or our frequencies wouldnt align...so I would tell them that my husband was already waaaay more enlightened than myself and I needed the retreats to try to catch up! Lol

I was partnered with a guy once for send and receive and I guess he took a shine to me. Over the course of the event he told me several times my marriage was doomed,whatever dude! He came to know my family member in Yelm and would tell her all the time how I'm going to leave my husband, how he's not good enough for me? She actually believed him! She added it to the list of things to worry about, and thought that she might have saved us because she put me on her list everyday :roll:
Jingz

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