it's going to rain ?..who cares
I'm here to share my story with u...(if this is not the right place to write it just move it somewhere else no prob at all.)
I'm not american, I'm italian and I'm 25.
2 years ago i went through i really hard time, depression, apathy.
I've always been interested in metaphisical subjects, and reserch..not of god, but in general I'm curious..
I've always had nice conversations about life and science with an older friend of mine, who was having a relationship with a poet, who was also into interested in theology and philosophy.
during my hard time, as a coincidence my sister and this older friend decided to start meeting for talking about these kind of subjects and sharing experiences.
my sister invited me to join...but i was a bit skeptical, I've always rejected the idea of been in a group, i mean having a conversation about life with someone is different than having to meet other strangers...i was skeptical.
but i went.
and step by step i started to enjoy the conversation, the reserach, i had so many questions in my mind, and i was confronting with new points of view.
after of months later our friend, the poet died.
was really though and shocking for all of us( at the time we were about 13 people)
when we were at my friend's place, all of us had the chance to pick up books from her library...there were tons of books..
my sister picked up...the white book.
ta-d? ! lol
i also started to read it......laughin a bit...but at the same time i started to be more and more hooked by the idea.
i passed the book to another and after a couple of months all the 13 of us read it.
we asked question to the owner of the book and she said she and her poet have been reading and studuing it for years, thay also had videos, dvd's ect.
my friend was particulary into it, the poet after a while decide to focus more on philosophers..
i was so excited we decided to join the school
at the point i didn't just loved the message, but also the messenger.
cos when u start feeling better u don't give the merit to yourself, but to your savious and his ideas,
but when u fail is not his fault, u just didn't apply correctly the disciplines,,, bla bal abla.
after the retreat i was really happy, me and my friends decided also to go and see the q&e session
this time i wasn't really happy at all, it scared the shit out of me.. and the sad things is that i couldn't admitt it cos i was sourrounded by people completely into the idea of moving to a mountain.
i didn't want to play the victim, but i didn't want to sacrifice my dreams either.
somebody also asked how can we prevent this..and ramtha basically said : u can't.
i mean.....how inchoerent is it?
so what i did was what everybody should do.. i researched, i had conversations with students and ex-students,
and the more i found new informations, the more i had doubts,
and i let my self to have dubts..cos without critical thinking a man is a puppet.
one day i was in a forum about ramtha, where i am the moderator, somebody left your link...i already know u, but i decided to visit u again, this time with other students,
while watching the video about mafu.i was online on msn, commenting and making fun of it..
i was laughing so hard i almost pissed my pants,
but all of a sudden i stopped and listened to penny torres words,
she was saying the same things ramtha says about critics,
" nobody wants to convince u, this is my thruth"
and i realized how scary it could have become.
and i decided to follow just my way, not somebody else strategy.
and if is going to rain...who cares.