I want to share my story

How is life after RSE? What negative effects are you dealing with? How has it affected loved ones? What has helped you towards healing and moving on? Share with others here.
forever
Posts: 402
Joined: Fri Jan 30, 2015 12:43 am

I want to share my story

Unread post by forever » Thu Feb 05, 2015 4:15 am

Hello all,

I want to share my story rather than my opinion on how i gained freedom from RSE. I was not and have not been current for at least 16 years. I believed but didn't live the teachings as far as image is concerned. I didn't tell anyone about RSE except family. I wanted a "normal" life.

Years out from RSE "normal" wasn't possible. because i had experienced beyond it and couldn't go back to where i was prior to RSE. I was in no mans land. And in an awful situation. Ultimately i got free from that situation, manipulation and went from pan to fire. AWFUL. From one abuse to another. Finally, got out of that and finally had my own apartment. Didn't own anything by then. I had a chair. :) BUT, i had ME and the freedom to embrace it, be happy and begin to resolve years of trauma and abuse.

Sitting alone in my apartment with a chair that i sat, slept and lived in i got out my tapes from school. Free at last to be me. I used the teachings to "take responsibility for myself and quit being a victim". Yes, it was harped on remember? Victims? Apparently Judy hasn't heard it.

Then i got sick. Bad bad bad,,,cancer. Now THAT'S a trip. If you want to find out what an illusion med field is...wow. I sued the doctor and won. Before it settled i ended up in a coma on a ventilator. Less than year ago. I wasn't supposed to make it.

While in coma-i knew i was dying. In trouble. Reaching out to Ram. He wasn't there. I was afraid and alone. Also didn't know i was unconscious. Hospital MANY weeks. Unconscious but conscious i thought about my life. What had mattered. All the energy the lawsuit had taken. The anger and frustration. Disillusionment. At what a joke it all is. Corrupt. And that the papers had not been signed and if i died...no will. What about my kids. And yet in the place between life and death what mattered is LIFE.
Was in coma 5 days. Feeding tube-whole 9 yards. Sound awful? it was. But let me tell ya what the worst part of surviving was ...RECOVERY!!!!!!

There was nothing left of me or my strength. I was gutted. A virus. Couldn't walk or even sit up alone. I had to go to a nursing home. AWFUL!!!! Weeks there. Then to a relatives and days i wasn't able to get off sofa. Exhausted. At times was without strength. I am here folks!!!

I have accomplished what i wanted for 30 years. Independence.

Horror story isn't over. I bought a very small/modest house. All i could afford. That i didn't know had a water problem in basement. Mother nature gave me a hose warming present. Several inches of water in basement.

My house is humble. Kitchen..ugh! I pulled cupboards and moved em. Slowly making kitchen functional. Needed a fence. Had to get survey first. Only to learn neighbors dwelling on my property. A real mess. Another war.

I learned how to install chain link fence. Then had to have huge tree removed. Learned about that. Learned how to use post hole diggers. Hang shutters and install mini blind brackets using a drill i had just bought and had NO idea how it works!!! Are you laughing yet? I am. It was endless.

Finally

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