rse, my mother, a broken family and a suicide

How to help if you have family or friends in RSE.
sceptic
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:02 pm

rse, my mother, a broken family and a suicide

Unread post by sceptic »

I only found this site a few days ago and it has been an eye opener for me. My mother has been an RSE follower for more than 20 years now but for some reason I have blocked out the link between her devotion of the school and the destruction of our family including the suicide of my brother.

It is only now that I realise that her selfishness and neglect of her family has been fuelled by the dangerous assertions of RSE.

I have for many years gone along in naivety with her belief that she is doing something important and bigger than any futile and mundane earthly endeavour. My mother dismisses my brothers death, and all other crises in life (there have been plenty), as an issue that has been presented to us to learn and grow from. In effect I am responsible for calling into my life the death of my brother so that I can grow from the experience. On some level this way of thinking is ok but on another level to look past other reasons for my brothers death such as the constant neglect and emotional absence of our mother, is just plain stupid.

I was just 17 (I am now 38) when my mother left the family to go to America to live. She has always been interested in everything spiritual and this meant a few years living in sub standard accommodation on a commune type environment in Perth running weekend retreats called “Inward Adventure”. She was interested in the teachings of Bhagwan Shree Rajnish, Ken Keyes and others and whilst the teachings were relatively innocuous the interpretations that she took from them meant that she was only ever interested in herself and was rarely there physically or emotionally for her 3 children. I guess this character trait made it easy for her to then leave her family (husband, 3 children and grandchildren) to move to Yelm.

Throughout my childhood but mostly coinciding with my mothers attendance at RSE I have been inundated with doomsday stories of the world ending, the earth tilting, gray men controlling the world, aliens controlling our governments, sea levels rising and wiping out most of the population, Japan sinking into the sea, planet Nibiru colliding with Earth and killing us all and more and more…. She has spent a huge amount of money on RSE (I will not have an inheritance), she has invested in failed money making schemes through the school (Omega), she has become distant and unemotional and has in truth destroyed the very fabric of our family.

She is unable to talk on an emotional level. I think she has completely blocked any feelings out. She constantly deprives herself of comfort and lives willingly in squalid conditions. She is completely self obsessed and does not go out of her way to enquire about the wellbeing of anyone…including my newborn son who is just 4 weeks old. She takes no responsibility for her actions or words. It is completely acceptable for her to say anything she wants whether it be insulting or just plain nasty and instead of explaining her words or the reasons for her thoughts she simply blames other people for their reactions to her words. She would previously end her insulting remarks with an old school favourite “So be it” but she hasn’t used that one for a while.

I have struggled for many years in trying to determine whether these character traits were her own or whether she was losing her mind. Reading this site and the many stories within I think she has been influenced by RSE more than I had ever imagined.

I had only recently got to the point where I did not want her in my life at all. However, reading this site I am not sure whether I should keep strong and hold hope that the RSE indoctrination may lose it’s grip on her. Although I doubt it very much….20 plus years with those thoughts and beliefs will be hard to shake I reckon.

What should I do? It has caused much upset to me and my family and I must say that my emotional wellbeing is better when I do not speak to her to hear all of her toxic thoughts and views.
Vanilla
Posts: 586
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:51 pm
Location: Rome, Italy

Re: rse, my mother, a broken family and a suicide

Unread post by Vanilla »

I am so sorry. I was your mother once.

I live with someone who sleeps in Rams robes after I share my doubts. Who makes a good argument that Ram is real by "personal experience" which isnt truth.

I do know many 20 years students, who to me, seem to think its BS but when you question them, they are still on board.

I know someone who brought their mom to an event and it was his best day ever, only to find his mom wasn't won over. His mom was not staying at his house when she came, but in a hotel.

I understand, but I do not know what to tell you. Here is a place to vent I take it. I have been venting for two days now.
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Dove
Posts: 62
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:10 am

Re: rse, my mother, a broken family and a suicide

Unread post by Dove »

Dear Sceptic

I am so glad you found this site. I am heart broken hearing your story, unfortunately it is not an uncommon story. The behaviour your mother is displaying is definitely behaviour shes learned through the school.

RSE teaches that emotions are limiting, to become enlightened is an "alone" journey, it is necessary to move away from your past. I was only in the school 3 years but towards the end I could see how my natural compassion towards others was changing, I had been indoctrinated to believe that everyone creates their own reality therefore everyone is experiencing what they really want, meaning if people were depressed & took their own life, it's because that's what they wanted, they experienced what they chose to. It is a very, very ugly philosophy, cold and sad, but one that the cult brainwashing does do. It is so, so hard for loved ones & family members to deal with & you are definitely not alone. I am one of the lucky ones, I got out and my natural compassion & love for others has returned.

Please know that your mother has been severely brainwashed, 20 years is a long time to be in a cult. There are others here on this site that have family members, loved ones in the school that are experiencing similar things. No doubt they will lovingly share their experiences & insights with you.

There is so much love & support here on this site. I am blown away by the kindness and compassion of these people that give so much of their free time to help others, & have done so for years.

Please keep sharing
appealing
Posts: 71
Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2010 6:38 am

Re: rse, my mother, a broken family and a suicide

Unread post by appealing »

Hi Sceptic,
I can only guess what it's like to be in your position, and I am truly sorry that you are. It made me very sad to read your email. Hope is a really difficult thing to base a relationship on, and it can also create a real drain on your energy levels (which I'm sure are challenged enough with a four week old son!) Hurtful as it may be, remember to do the best by yourself and your son first! If your mother is going to free herself from the clutches of RSE, it will happen in her own good time, and if that joyous event happens, you can then decide how you feel about letting her be in you lives again.

In the meantime, my advice is to love the ones you're with and spend as much time and energy enjoying them as you can.

Just my two cents!

Take the best care!
Appealing
freemysoul
Posts: 362
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2010 4:40 am

Re: rse, my mother, a broken family and a suicide

Unread post by freemysoul »

Thanks for your post Sceptic,
Your story is so common amongst family members, including my own, who continue to love and support people involved in RSE, only to be dismissed by them because they are brainwashed into believing that you are now an obstacle to their enlightenment rather than a conduit to it. I imagine it would be easy to become jaded or bitter from being emotionally and physically neglected by someone you care for so deeply, and it shows the strength of your character and the great love in your heart as you continue to love your mother throughout, regardless of her choices. I wish you and your family well, and I hope for a positive outcome for you.
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