she has mastered the act and mask of a very intelligent, charismatic and caring person.
This makes her a very dangerous and destructive predator.
I came across this article… some may find 'enlightening'
For those that are interested in looking into the psychology of Sociopaths, I highly recommend exploring the work of Robert Hare.
Related: Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us by Robert D. HareHow to Deal With a Sociopath: wikiHow
Realize that the sociopath does not care who gets used or hurt, because sociopaths have no conscience or scruples against taking gross advantage of your kindness and goodwill. A key characteristic of a sociopath is that they cannot comprehend that others have feelings or can be hurt by their actions.
Avoid them completely. Avoidance is key to protecting yourself from a sociopath, however, if that is not possible, here are some things that work:
Have nothing to offer. Sociopaths want to use you, your loved ones, your resources and your connections. To get them out of your life, have nothing to offer.
If what they want from you is your money, keep your money in places where they cannot find out about it. They will open your bank statements and look at your account without your permission so be careful about using a bank. Create the impression (without lying) that you do not have a lot of money and that your friends and family do not have a lot of money.
If they want power, create the impression (without lying) that you are not/ no longer well connected.
If they want to use you, make yourself undesirable (without lying) so they are no longer interested in you.
If they want to use your resources, make them unavailable or render them unreliable so they no longer want to use them.
If you must live or work with a sociopath
Speak often, speak quickly and speak loudly but as agreeably as is convenient. Since a sociopath has no conscience they need constant mental stimulation.
Be engaged in conversation, agree with them in complimentary ways whenever you can.
Continuously change the subject (especially if they say something to try to harass you) and never leave any silent pauses while you are around them.
Talk, talk, talk, about anything and everything that is neutral and safe (such as politics, weather, news, sports etc.)
Never, never talk about your family, friends, business, finances, dreams, goals, etc. Avoid discussing these topics, but keep them mentally stimulated and try to get away from them as quickly as you can.
Do Not Provide the Weapons of Destruction
Sociopaths are mental, emotional and psychological terrorists. And just like real terrorists, if they have no weapons, their impact will be minimal.
Avoid at all costs supplying the sociopath with the weapons they can use to terrorize you. Basically any information about your weaknesses, things that cause you mental, emotional or psychological pain, anything that annoys, bothers or hurts you they will use as arsenal to terrorize you.
Understand that if you tell them that it hurts when they continuously mock you, be prepared for them to use mocking anytime that they want to hurt you because now they have an effective weapon. If you tell them that you do not like it when they do not respect you they will be sure to disrespect you anytime they want to see you suffer.
Avoid telling them what makes you happy. If they know what you truly love and enjoy, whenever they want to terrorize you, they will try to see that you never obtain or have access to what you enjoy. Avoid telling a sociopath what bothers you or what you love so they do not have weapons with which to terrorize you.
Use the element of surprise. If a sociopath knows your plans ahead of time, they will use that knowledge to harass, belittle, discourage or humiliate you. If you plan to do something don't tell the sociopath about it ahead of time. Wait until you have completed your task before sharing the information.
For example, if you plan redecorate your home, wait until the new furniture is purchased, installed and the old furniture removed before telling the sociopath. Once your home has already been redecorated, they will celebrate with you and you will have spared yourself a great deal of problems along the way. If you plan to change jobs, first take the exam, go on the interview, get the new job and resign from the old job and then share the good news with the sociopath. Once the event has already taken place, they have nothing to use to discourage you, all they can do at that point is offer congratulations. If you plan to lose weight, first join the gym, start your diet, make all your plans, then once you've already lost weight, notify the sociopath that you have joined a gym and it is effective. They will congratulate you for your success rather than discouraging you before you even get started.
The same concept works if you need to do something you know the sociopath will be disagreeable about, cause problems with, or put you down for. If you live or work with the sociopath, use periods of time when they are out of the office or away from home to make small purchases, make small changes or get things done. Then tell them about it when they return to the office or return home.
The only tested, infallible means for getting a sociopath to change direction is brokenness. If a sociopath is broken, they will realize that the current course of action will not lead to victory and they will abandon the current path in pursuit of a new one. If you want to get a sociopath to change their ways, the only thing that will work is brokenness. What is brokenness? The dictionary defines it as:
Fractured, Incomplete, In a state of disarray,
Discontinuous, containing gaps or errors,
Subdued, Totally humbled, Weakened, Infirmed,
Crushed by grief, Bankrupt,
Not functioning, Out of Order
Brokenness to a sociopath does not hold the same meaning it does for everyone else. When a sociopath experiences brokenness, they are not experiencing an emotion which will teach them to be more kind and loving.
Make them experience the knowledge that the path they believed would bring them to victory will never get them there, but, has in fact, bought them to defeat. When they experience brokenness, they are not changed from being sociopaths to developing emotions or empathy, they are singularly realizing that they can never win where you are concerned.
Make the sociopath realize and acknowledge that they can never win, and they will change course from pursuing you and pursue some other victim. If you want a sociopath out of your life completely, they have to be broken. They have to experience the knowledge that nothing they can ever do will lead them to win where you are concerned. So how does a sociopath get broken? That is the million dollar question.
Do not speak or react when they harass you, and leaving whenever they come near you can lead them to see they will never win where you are concerned. Getting out of their lives completely when they have absolutely no clue you are planning to leave is another way they might realize they cannot win.
Document their harassment of you without their knowledge (such as with hidden voice and video recorders) and then sharing the documentation with their boss, parent, spouse or the authorities might also help. Just be careful, there are no guarantees of success with any of these methods and you might make things worse.
Talk to someone. Talk to a therapist, or to someone that you love, but don't let your loved one deal with this
How to Deal With a Sociopath:- wikiHow
Robert Hare's Page for the Study of Psychopaths, "Sociopaths", ...
Hare Psychopathy Checklist - Wikipedia,
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/without ... 1110873110