Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

How is life after RSE? What negative effects are you dealing with? How has it affected loved ones? What has helped you towards healing and moving on? Share with others here.
California Dreamin'
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Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by California Dreamin' »

Here is a thought about Ramtha being there and gone. Can someone explain to me why a so call powerful God would leave and let someone use and trashed his Good Name. Do they also have Trademark laws in his dimension that would bind him to do so, I guess JZ was Smarter then he, and Trademarked the name Ramtha before he thought of it and Voila the great white Brotherhood couldn’t do anything about it.
Robair
In his post from another thread, Robair refers to the "great white Brotherhood." Reading his post brought to mind for me many of the beliefs and knowingnesses that I held prior to my years at RSE. Now I'm very unclear as to whether any of my beliefs prior to experiencing RSE are valid. I now wonder if any of these things are true:

-the Great White Brotherhood
-reincarnation
-did Atlantis really exist?
-prayers
-pyramid power
-reincarnation
-astral travel
-psychic healers
-communicating with deceased family members in dreams

and my list goes on. It's had for me to believe that any of this stuff is real. I bought into such a false bill of goods at RSE that it's hard for me to trust myself and my inner knowingness. Still, to this day, my inner knowingness always reminds me of how I was so gullible and trusting to believe all the Ramtha stuff. Feel like I can't trust my inner voice anymore.

I feel stripped of my beliefs and my open mind is now closed.


CD
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Robair
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Robair »

Hello Guys
California Dreaming this a very very important subject to bring up I had touched bit on it in one of my posts sometime ago but not really openly.
I can only talk for myself but pretty sure that most of us has that problem to different level.
It has been close to 4 years now that I have realized with the help of this site and all the Posters that I had been had by a Charlatan, and a scam artist. After 25 years of believing that Ramtha was an Enlightened entity I was left (and still to this day) with more questions than answers.
I was born and raised very strong Catholic was an altar Boy and served Mass for many years, even though by the time I was married my trust in the Church was pretty much gone, but never let my Mother know that every time I went to visit I when to mass with her or my Dad , it would have devastated her to know, she passed away before I became a Ramster, also none in my family ever knew or know that I have been in a cult for all that time, I never talk to them about it and by doing so never brought confrontation between us. My believe in God and in Prayer was still with me during that time. When I got evolved with JZR my ways of thinking change ,excusing it all with the fact that I had knowledge and the Truth. For most of those 25 years even though I was not current in the school for the last 9 years before finding all about JZR I considered myself a Ramster with the intention to go back to the school at retirement. We had blue Star all over our house and Ramtha was part of our daily life. Every night I would go to bed with the Lord God Of My Being and starting my days with it. Now I am left with not much believe in anything.
Now at 64 years old I am left still pretty confused, like everyone else getting older I am starting thinking about the end of my life, about all I knew when I was young versus what I have know and learned the past 25 years not just from the school but also from the new way of thinking about all conventional religions. Like I said many more questions than answers.
Many People excused and allow Crooked Scam artists like this Nine fake faces scum bag to exist not really realizing the deepness and many levels that Cult has on most of the people that get snared by them.
Like C.D said the list goes on and on
I will stop here for now and let others tell us about their own struggles with it all. After all the prime Function of this site is to help ex- Ramsters ,their Family and friend recover from This Cult. Some time we forget it , even though pounding on JZ is a very good way and tool in our recovery still at the end of the day we all still ( or I for sure) left with our self having more questions the answers.
Robair
I Value Things Not For What They Worth But For What They Represent
ex
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by ex »

when i read indigos posts, which i realy liked, i was wondering about myself not beeing abel to leave with the same greatness. and getting so bitter about rse and later about jzr. you hit it on the head cd. the dissapointment not getting the promissed answers. the programm that its all my fault not getting it. the puzzelment to sift through everything to find the good in the bad. its like a box of old books naged on from mice with theire piss over the good equal the bad ones and you wonder whats worth saving. sometimes i think scamed by the best so no amateure will ever get me again. even jzr would have to step up her game.
Ockham
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Ockham »

I am not an RSE student, but I have studied RSE teachings to help better understand my close freinds that are hooked on JZ/R. Some of the thoughts are indded beautiful, while other teachings make me shake my head wondering how anybody could buy such baloney. JZ/R is a master of rhetoric and psychic manipulation, weaving treasure with tripe. People join RSE because they're looking for answers to life's though questions - that is healthy. It is RSE's contol tactics to keep you a paying customer that are flawed.

What I do buy into is that we have Christ within, and we all have the potential to unlock truth, no guru required. It can take a long time, but that is what life is for. Don't let RSE deceptions sour your faith in what you love and believe. Don't be afraid to study on your own any way you can. You took a great step by joining EMF. What a wonderful collection of souls are here.

Unfortunately, I don't think there is a quick fix. Be patient and have faith in the worth of your being.
joe sz
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by joe sz »

Cd and Robair et al
your dilemma as to what can "I believe" now is so common with ex-members of any cult.
One of the other former members groups I assist [as I can--ex-members are all over thw world] is this one----I posted an essay for them:
http://www.movementsofgnostics.com/2011 ... mment-1270

very similar issues as LARSE esp since this Belzebuub thing is also a 'Gnostic' or Great White Shar..; err, Brothethood type occult sect.

No easy answer. I have seen ex-members go from joining a similar group for a while, opting for a fundalmentalist christian sect for a while, going through catholicism and quit that [this latter phase is common for some ex-GWB folk] and a vast majority seem to stay within an agnostic view with some kind of private 'God is my mate' attitude---Crocodile Dundee said that about God. A small percentage go for strict atheism, like Eliz Prophet's son, Sean:
http://www.blacksunjournal.com/
here he criticizes the cult he was born into:
http://www.blacksunjournal.com/religion ... _2009.html

another site run by Alex Tsakiris looks at scientific proof of OBE:
http://www.skeptiko.com/

Joe sz
tree
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by tree »

I would like to address Robair in his most moving and sincere post:

I am moved to nearly tears to read your story as I know how much you worked for and on your property and land,
how you moved away now with intentions to go back after retirement.

And to think there are so so many more hundreds of people like us at varying stages and degree of exiting....even though some still
have one foot in.
I honestly wish I could reach out and touch each one in some way as it is very painful to watch how one sociopath has affected
sooooo many people in the cruelest, most hurtful of ways.

your dilemma as to what can "I believe" now is so common with ex-members of any cult.

No easy answer. I have seen ex-members go from joining a similar group for a while, opting for a fundalmentalist christian sect for a while, going through catholicism and quit that [this latter phase is common for some ex-GWB folk] and a vast majority seem to stay within an agnostic view with some kind of private 'God is my mate' attitude---Crocodile Dundee said that about God. A small percentage go for strict atheism,
I, myself have veered towards the atheistic side of things as my grandfather was an atheist.
But I have also been witness to 'cult hoppers' as well. Hopefully they come out with some time in their life to actually enjoy their life!
joe sz
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by joe sz »

I still struggle too but it is more fun than when I first left the cult in 1980. What I mean by that is that I work within models of belief that I find "plausible." In sociology (as I told a client recently) humans find stability or sanity due to "plausibility structures" or PS...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plausibility_structure
In sociology and especially the sociological study of religion, plausibility structures are the sociocultural contexts for systems of meaning within which these meanings make sense, or are made plausible. Beliefs and meanings held by individuals and groups are supported by, and embedded in, sociocultural institutions and processes
If your 'PS' is weak or shattered, you feel whacked or anxious, out of sorts with continual cognitive dissonance as every new point of view challenges your timid one. This is what makes cults SO attractive in the beginning. Cults supply a PS with a mouthpiece [cult leader] so it is not merely that voice within [conscience] in your head sorting it out, there is a miraculous voice "from above" as if from a god offering a more secure source of wisdom.

The difference as I see it between cult PS and healthy PS is a matter of real life plausibility. For example, Buddhists have a PS based basically on the 4 Noble Truths and the 8 Fold Path along with the core sutras attributed to the Buddha. Within Buddhism there are many PS [Theraveda, Mayayana, zen, Western hybrids] and every individual sustains a personal PS inside the larger one. Same holds true for Catholics Jews atheists Muslims....

Cults tend to shrink or constrict your personal PS around a leader that can jerk you around with one crisis after another. There is no stable doctrine, no stable sense of governance, no democratic way to change things 'on the ground' or in civil life as a member.

I think one way to see this more clearly is in mixed marriages. Mainline Jews, Buddhists, Muslims and Catholics within the modern tradition seem to do well together, not overburdened by "too much religion" in the household and usually allowing the kids to explore when they are at that age of exploration as young adults without rancor. The tighter and more apocalyptic the PS, the less likely a mixed marriage will work--this is why in hindsight I saw my first marriage go through major stress once I merged into the Great White Brotherhood cult PS, ending in divorce a year before I finally quit the damn cult.

The bottom line is that some kind of PS is almost necessary for a human being to stay sane in this mysterious world. Even someone with schizophrenia will put something together that makes sense only to them.
Rooster
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Rooster »

This is my biggest struggle. I have moved on, healed much. I sometimes feel extra lost as I do not believe in much. I tend to just go with nature. I do have a consciene and go with that. I do believe there is something bigger than myself. I know helping others, caring and being good to myself just feels right. None of us will ever have the answers. No one ever will. Sometimes we are okay with what we are told. The reality is no one here on earth can give us the answers we all want to define and understand. It is the greatest mystery, since the begining of time. Thats why we can be fooled, brought in by those that claim to know.
joe sz
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by joe sz »

Rooster. I think that is the cliche: "the answers". A good philosopher does not seek "the answers". Good philosophers/seekers strive to refine the questions and to explore better answers, not THE ANSWERS. Same holds true for major religious scholars if you read them. If someone continues to ask cliche questions like "What is the truth?" or "Who am I", "What am I doing here?", that someone will find ready answers only from cult leaders and their "techniques".

iow, if you drink the right whiskey, you will be a successful, enlightened person.

"Stay thirsty, my friend" ads on tv re Dos Equis...case in point, but do not drink a case... ;-)
Rooster
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Rooster »

This comes up for me over and over. I have a young teenager and I have no answers. I say, I can give you my knowledge but search it out. I feel, am I wrong in this? I have no solid belief or answer to pass on. I know what a cult is! The only real experience I have to pass on. So belief in common religion, god, jesus. Maybe? How do I know? What if that was a cult passed on for centuries? And in all religeions, who has the answers? Which one? If I look at today, all I have is what is deep in the soul? A feeling maybe? Many have the answers? or claim too? Is god within? All I can claim and answer is I love. I feel something and there is no great evidence today among all scams that any one has the truth. I know of no one that can demonstrate or claim any abilities above man. I want to tell my daughter this is what to believe. Instead I tell her to be careful and what not to believe. So am I a heathen? I do not know? I do believe there is something greater. Does that make me a heathen? I have no answers. It really is the hardest struggle I have. With kids, you do not have and answer. It is even harder. Sometimes I think I just should go to church. But where? Which one? Inquiring minds want to know! Well, was just asked a bunch of questions. What do I do?
MindState
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by MindState »

To everyone,

It's a pleasure reading through this discussion and of your experiences! About RSE, it's 'shills' who have to have some dumb-ass story about everything that happens in their petty life to match every season....and everything else about it. Comes back to 'God lives in you'. If this is true.....might as well throw that whole sack of garbage in the can and leave that whole school and the fools involved behind....who ever tried to 'organize' your relationship with God. Would you be surprised if, for example, you called JZ, Ramtha, ...etc. every curse word you can think of and more.....and said 'That school can die and burn in hell'. But while you were expressing this, you felt more 'love'...'healing' and 'personal freedom' than you ever had while a 'cult follower'....would you be surprised to find out that 'God' was celebrating with you? This is, for example, how we find what is real.

And personally, I hate philosophy. I couldn't talk to you about it because I never read any books of philosophy besides the 'white book' when I was a ramster. I prefer 'silence' over any philosophy any day of the week!

I believe people 'complicate' things way too much. We humans do that. If you read you're whole life....there are only a few certain words that really stand out from anything trully! ......"Simple".........."Consistent".............."Love".

Just some food for thought my friends!

Make this day a 'simple' day! Or night. :)
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

Californiadreaming


I often wondered the same. He always bragged on her how 'my daughter hasn't done that'. In reference to sexual activity. How PURE she is.

I could go along with, "she has to evolve too". But i cannot go along with an ascended master teacher-the great late Ramtha, the STRATEGIC one to NOT have the foresight to see what would happen. Aint buying it any longer. At first i think something clean did appear to/through her, But it was quickly corrupted when it went to her head and she saw the money, fame and fortune she always wanted.

A clean spirit isn't going to hang around or work through an unclean person. Meaning a completely WORLDLY person. To make a mockery out of the teachings and his name. My opinion.

I wasn't moved by Cunningham or Jeff Knights interviews. Because neither went public until she rejected them. What did get me is the guy that was her PR early on. That said he saw her practicing Ramtha character?

It no longer matters to me if he was/is real. It was a moment in time. An experience. And nothing i want to be affiliated with. It didn't make or break me. As far as her "success'. She look happy to you? It's a pathetic example/statement of anything of value to me.
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

To everyone.

How often has someone been in a relationship only to discover that they don't know the person? Or get involved with someone that seems one way and turns out to be exact opposite? Happens all the time.

People married 30 years. Wife/husband thinks it's all fine. One of comes home ans says good-bye. WOW what a brain bender. The one got dumped is wondering "if any of it was real"?

Get a relationship and the persona is wonderful-to your face. In love. Behind your back he/she is running around. First question, 'was any of it real'?

It's a hard one to answer. Question is-if you knew then what you know now what you have got involved?

Forever
Rooster
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Rooster »

Hi Forever, No I would never have gotten involved. I only did because I was brought up with the school by my parents. They are still involved. Many things just never sat right with me. All the so called loving, wonderful people were not so loving and wonderful. I think my parents believed so they turned a blind eye to the dirty old men hitting on young cute girls. Have to say ran the other way and used my own judgement. Even I knew who were the creepy ones.
Much now seems like a bad dream. And yes, J.z. I did wake up from a bad to dream, to find it was not real! J.Z, as "Ramtha " would give the fear speeches of the days to come. "I know you want to think this is a bad dream, but it is real. You will not wake up from it so be prepared.
It gets better. You learn to live again. You will be all the stronger and wiser.
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

I Will Not Have You Worship Me.

I have no following. None. If they follow i send them away.

There are many "teachers" on your plane that ENHANCE THEMSELVES while having that which follows them worship them.

I am not this way. You never become God when you worship the feet of another.
This is from the earliest days. 1979-1983.

I am not going to post publicly the source of this because if i do it will disappear. David knows.
The point is that what sucked people in was a much different energy/message than what they found at RSE that came along several years after this. What is in the source i am quoting from is the exact opposite of what's taught at RSE. But the same teacher?

Rse, JZ/Ramtha, Lily langtry, to me it's all the same. A production. History. It really isn't worth thinking about. What's important is waking up to the darkness of RSE, breaking all ties and going forward. Getting free.

The bottom line is people have to assume responsibility for them self instead of depending on someone, one source to feed them. That's not freedom or living. It's dependence and control. Rse tells "students" what to read and believe under the guise of it coming from an ascended master. That doesn't know the 4th color in rainbow/ light spectrum is green? At the time we didn't have access to information like we do now.
Ockham
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Ockham »

It certainly seems like somebody promotes worshiping JZ Knight. If you log on to a real estate web site and search listings in Thurston County, Washington, it is easy to pick out the listings of ramsters. There will be a room in the home that has that pictue of Ms. Knight doing the finger pointing gesture pinned up in a little shrine like area. I have also seen posters of a guy with a sword pinned up next to Knight's photo. I figured that was probably a rendering of Ramha.
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

What a fool believes...it's all 180 degree from the original message. People believe what they want to. Heaven help em when the truth comes to light. It will.
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

I have read everything i can in an attempt to understand and get to the "truth", A word i don't even like or trust any longer.

Unlike many on EMF i didn't have any prior awareness of God as anything beyond religion. It was very challenging for me to embrace the "teachings". The hard part is that what i experienced at RSE on field and tank is co-mingled and related to the teachings. As is everything i experienced away from RSE. Because from the time i embraced the teachings i began to define all of my experiences according to the teachings. In other words Ramtha and teachings became my reality. Now i know the only Ramtha is the one Judy, JZ Knight created. Invented. For obvious reasons.

The fact that she had an I AM church says something. She was obviously aware of that organization and practices. But not of Psychic Dictatorship. Did she know the I AM/Ballards was a scam that would ultimately be exposed when she pulled Ramtha out of the air.

As i have said previously i wasn't part of the "new age" movement, had no information on aliens, ascended masters, conspiracies, grey men, Hitler, assassination of JFK/William Cooper belief. Nothing. Not a shred of anything until a friend got involved with a guy whose Catholic family were students. Had sold everything and moved thousands of miles away to Yelm. She was Catholic, young, 23? with sparkling eyes. Sold everything and went to Yelm with her BF to join his family and attend RSE. They married and it lasted 2? years.

She came from a solid home, college educated. Good parents. She was going against family by going to RSE. She was appalled at the conditions students were living in. As well as how awful they were to one another. Tight lipped about teachings but said a few things. "Ramtha says if we find our card it will manifest". I had NO idea what she was talking about and she wouldn't elaborate. She was afraid Ramtha would get her.

When i saw her 2? years after she left Yelm she was angry and bitter. Making her way, living alone. In a divorce. Bitter, she said, " I am not spending the rest of my life to make it to the next event or living where i have to worry about the size of my ass'. Her husband, the guy that convinced her to go out there into the Ramtha culture-dumped her. I felt really bad for her. She was no longer the sweet, gentle person i met originally. She had so badly wanted me to go to the school. We lost contact and she has no idea how my life unfolded. Thank God she didn't stay in RSE or Yelm.

As said, prior to RSE i only knew God as religion. Getting involved with RSE caused deep psychological trauma, fear and paranoia. When Mark Phillips and Cathy O'Brian came to speak about mind control and gave her/their story? I was VERY afraid after that. Everyone was. "Ramtha" ordered everyone to read her book, Trance Formation Of America. It was awful beyond imagination. It was used to show us how awful our government is. Combined with last Waltz Of Tyrants.

Ramtha is (imo) a fictional character created by Judy, JZ for obvious reasons and the Ramtha teachings are not from an ascended master. If there is such a thing? I am back to the beginning. I went to RSE to learn. All these years later what have i learned. What do i know. Not what i believe or think but what do i actually know?

California Dreamin said it well. What to believe.

Judith Hampton Knight didn't create God or my experiences.

I know beyond all doubt the magic and adventure of life. Miracles and devastation. Miracles when i trust my God. Devastation when i have trusted, believed , depended on and put my safety, life and well being in the hands of untrustworthy people. Trust in and of itself is not bad. It's who, what and why that's important.

Human beings destroy trust and anything pure by using it as an opportunity to use, manipulate, deceive and take from others. Leaving a path of broken hearts, lives and disillusionment. In church there was a God that would put me in a lake of eternal fire if i wasn't good enough. I saw the same thing in church i saw in RSE. Double standards, hypocrisy and pastors that refused to give a financial account. I heard and saw the same garbage in church. It's what happens to someone when they have power over others. THEY become God. Power always has it's rise and fall.

If someone had told me years ago i would witness the Ramtha of today?

In all the denial and disbelief, the mystery is solved as to the discrepancies, blatant contradictions, drugs, alcohol, twinkies, sexing and all human insanity-mystery solved. There is no "ascended master" behind the curtain. Just a woman that had a rise to power and is now imploding.

Is there a great white brotherhood? I have never given it any thought or depended on it really. It's been in the last 3-4 months i have even thought about aliens. My focus has been on evolving into Christ Consciousness and it hasn't mattered.
It would take an awful lot for anything to convince me of anything right now. All i have is my own personal experience to draw from.
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

It was work to believe the channel concept. I was skeptical. From the moment i opened the white book it turned my life upside down. I didn't read much of it at first because it was just too bizarre. Put it aside and life went on. But something drew me back to the book. Over time it got my attention. Got in my head. Years later i went to RSE but skeptical i ran a test. The following actually happened.


Beginners Event:

I "tested" Ramtha. If he was who and what he said then surely telepathy shouldn't be a problem. Ramtha was on stage and i was several isles back and to the side. In my mind i was saying, "if you are what you say you are look at me, smile and wave". I watched him scan the audience. Eyes landed on me, he smiled and waved. What do i do with that?

Does it mean Ramtha is real? It does not. It means (to me) that someone/thing was able to hear me and acknowledge. I do not know what. And at this stage don't care to speculate. Isn't important.

Ramtha? We don't even know if there was an Atlantis much less an ascended master. In all honesty do we know there was a Jesus? Don't misunderstand. I am not picking on religion. I happen to believe Jesus did/does exist. But why? On what evidence? Where's the proof?

The thing about RSE was that i could learn how to be my own genie. Except it isn't what happened. I became dependent on the teachings to get to where i could be my own genie.

At the moment i am more sure about what i don't believe than anything else. I don't believe in channeling.
Ockham
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Ockham »

A couple of posts back Forever mentioned the Judy Pope Koteen book Last Waltz of the Tyrants. I believe Delavie did a deconstruction of Waltz in a thread in the international section of EMF. There is a passage that can be shown to have been plagiarized several times over before eventually landing in Koteen's book quite twisted from the original which is more or less a statement of fact into gray men conspiracy theory. I believe Waltz is still on the RSE reading list because I have seen my friends reading that book. Now that we have 15 years of the 21st century under our belt, Waltz definitely seems out dated, not very plausible.
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

Thanks Ockham.

I agree. To me it was used to instill fear, sow doubt and mistrust. You familiar with Cathy O'brian and Mark Phillips? Trace formation Of America?


How's your book coming? i don't have it yet.
Ockham
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Ockham »

I just looked on Amazon.com, and I see Waltz has been retitled Last Waltz of the Tyrants Prophecy Revisited. In the tradition of Steven Weinberg, as of 2008 Judi Pope Koteen's name as editor has been expunged and replaced with, "Ramtha," as author. Apparently it is still the same retread Ramtha Dialogues material hawking the same gray men conspiracy stuff. I'll agree there is a concentration of wealth going on globally, but it doesn't require a hazy conspiracy theory or Ramtha to see it or explain it.
Ockham
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by Ockham »

No I am not familiar with The Trance Formation of America. I think I could make a pretty good guess about it.
forever
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by forever »

It's one of the most awful books, subjects, i have ever read. It was mandatory reading. Not a pleasant subject. back then unheard of and now common knowledge. Requires a strong stomach.
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David McCarthy
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Re: Beliefs that I now struggle about and question

Unread post by David McCarthy »

I "tested" Ramtha. If he was who and what he said then surely telepathy shouldn't be a problem. Ramtha was on stage and i was several isles back and to the side. In my mind i was saying, "if you are what you say you are look at me, smile and wave". I watched him scan the audience. Eyes landed on me, he smiled and waved. What do i do with that?
Hi forever..
How about "Confirmation Bias" with some "Cognitive Dissonance" thrown in to firmly bolt the RSE exit door.. :shock:

Related:

(EMF) Online Forum • View topic - Cognitive dissonance...!
viewtopic.php?f=11&t=390&hilit=Confirmation

Confirmation bias - Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias
But he has nothing on at all, cried at last the whole people....
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