lack of focus?

[sara]

Tree, you were saying that the way my RSE friend thought she knew more than her partner was a subtle red flag - that and the way she spoke to her other friend - well, I didn't know her partner well but found him to be a very gentle man - he was ill had a lot of pain in his back, and her take on that was that he wasn't focusing enough to clear the pain. She seemed to have very little time or patience for illness or pain, saying that he "moaned" and wanted sympathy, and it might well have been true that he "moaned" more than he needed to - she was the one who lived with him and knew him, not me. At the time - about 5 years ago - I did wonder why the disciplines weren't helping him enough - I think he did say that they helped a little, or for a time - and thought maybe there was something wrong that had got to a stage where physical help was needed. I know he was getting medical help and was taking morphine for the pain at one time. A few years later, when she and I had lost touch, I heard that he had died. I might be completely wrong, but I think he had cancer in his spine? I called her and she told me it had been hard. She used an RSE expression and said that she had nearly lost her focus. What I can hardly believe now is that I didn't even see any red flags at the time, although looking back I wonder how I didn't see them...

[G2G]

Good observation, imo, Sara. Did she ever "focus" on healing him?

[sara]

Dear G2G

I don't know for sure - I don't remember her saying that she had. For some reason, I think that she did - but she certainly said that he wasn't helping himself.

Sara

[tree]

I think he did say that they helped a little,

ok
here is a story.
I shall save the gruesome facts.

I was contracted my a future love interest (although i did not know it at the time)
to build their UG.
about 2 months into building this thing myself
(imagine being contracted to build an entire underground ,,,,one person only)
they came down to the UG and stated:
if you hear some weird noises, it is just the saw
acting weird.
Long story short,
they sliced their hand under a skill saw.
I have to rush them to the emergency ward
at the nearest hospital ( they refused for the emergency vehicles to c o me
because of their conspiracist theory background)
they get flown to Seattle,
they have major surgery
and their hand is in this weird contraption.

so,
every night
we do candle focus.

and what happens is ( later, I realize)
candle focus breaks the cycle of pain.


so,
there you have it

[G2G]

Sounds like a take-off from Lamaze class!!!! You have to find your focal point when you're breathing. This helps the mind to focus on something else and not the pain of the contraction. For me, it was the fluid drops in the IV bag. When they moved it, I vehementely protested to no avail. "That was my focal point!"

I was not their favorite patient...

I also remember a co-worker who planned on going through labor using hypnosis from our hospital (now somewhat famous) psychologist. During a demonstration, he was able to put a 12 gauge IV needled directly through the back of her hand with nary a whine from her. After 17 hours in labor, she was begging for pain medication and wound up with a C-section. The hypnosis didn't help that one. I found, after RSE, I was able to recover and identify a new and yet old spirituality within me. I also found that moderation in my case is most beneficial. My critical-thinking is back en force, and perhaps a bit more moderation in that area would be of benefit to me.

Tree...you have been through so much and watching you grow, just here on this board, has been wonderful. Did the person who sawed their hand divulge why they "manifested" such?....you don't have to answer. I find myself after being "out" and not really being "in" for long wondering why I didn't ask people at RSE, "why did you "manifest" that? I did say to one when they told me about the doom and gloom teachings I simply wasn't going to focus on that because it wasn't my reality; I was going to focus on what *I* wanted. (I said that to get a rise and to maybe shock them into reality... ) They didn't respond, of course.

Just keep questioning, Sara, as Tree said. In the end, I've found, the only Truth to me is love - the highest power.

[tree]

Did the person who sawed their hand divulge why they "manifested" such?.

you know, I can't really recall the answer.
I do know that the community gathered alot of money from
donation jars set around the stores in Yelm (Thunder Market being one).
All the proceeds were in her jean jacket pocket.
Why I never took any for basic neccessecities is beyond me.
I cooked, cleaned, drove them to appointments,
built the UG, did laundry all while this person was convalescing.
They went to the "secondary" retreat (after already having been to the
"primary" retreat), only to hook up with another
person.
I caught wind of it at the coffee shop and packed up my truck.
They stiffed me 3 weeks worth of pay (for building of the UG).
You don't know how bad I wanted to push them off their deck on
my way out the drive
with their hand in the contraption of wires and splints.

I later heard that they had been diagnosed as bi-polar
and had left the teachings because
they were no longer "magic number 1".

Just bizarre.
Only in Yelm.

[sara]

Just keep questioning, Sara, as Tree said. In the end, I've found, the only Truth to me is love - the highest power.

Thank you for your beautiful words - I completely agree!

[sara]

In reply to your post above, Tree, wanting to push them off the deck sounds like a healthy feeling!

I know the place of doing so much for someone, or something you believe in, then looking back and thinking, how could I have done all that? did you also think that that was just what you do when someone else has a need - to give as much as you can? Did you find that RSE encouraged you to give way too much? My head was full of thoughts such as "energy is not limited" (my own words), "there are no limitations" (JZR's words), "Give and give and give, and find that which no-one would think of to which to give" (likewise, from an Xmas message) - and that last one in particular seemed to me to embody an ideal of being a strong, loving being who can give, and that isn't a bad thought! But what gets left out is that ability to give to yourself, to take care of yourself so that you can keep giving from a strong place - how can you do that if you're taught to ignore your feelings, not listen to anything your mind/body/emotions are telling you, calling it "arguing from limitation"? It's amazing how some good and true ideas get perverted, so that reaching beyond limitations becomes abusing oneself...

Have a wonderful light-filled New Year, and I wish you all you could wish for for yourself for 2009

Sara

[Wakeup-Call]

Wow, Tree - your story brought back some many RSE catchphrases...

I can just hear the woman's description regarding your departure to her new friend
- Yeah well, she's caught up in her emotional body. We just have to be allowing.
- Yeah well, that's her truth
- Wow, I can't believe I manifested YOU my soulmate and my underground and my fabulously healed hand! SO BE IT!

My experience at RSE was that there were some truly generous, spiritual people counterbalanced by some of the most conniving, swindlers on the planet who always had a line handy from the teachings to justify their horrendous, hurtful behavior.

[tree]

counterbalanced by some of the most conniving, swindlers on the planet who always had a line handy from the teachings to justify their horrendous, hurtful behavior.

I have found, ESPECIALLY during my year and a half after exiting the group and still living in the area
that about 95% pf the people end up on the above mentioned spectrum.
Even the seemingly nicest people
are truly rude, self-centered and greeedy to a phenomenal degree.
I was truly amazed.
The group-think breeds mean-ness if you ask me.

As the teachings go:
"It's all about me."

[tree]

omg!
and if I hear another "She's just in her emotional body"
I think I would scream.
And people use those phrases ALL the time in arguments with others
to justify their way around things
and clawing their way to the top.
so typical.