Understanding the attraction to religion after RSE

[Kensho]

This is a rather long post but through a bit of elaboration on my personal experience with religion and my RSE experiences, the hope is that a greater understanding might be obtained as to why some of us may have returned to, or adopted religion after leaving a mind-manipulating organization such as RSE.

So what about religion and RSE?

At least for me, it took a while to realize that RSE wasn't a spiritual path; although it is cleverly disguised as one. Once I realized that and chose to leave RSE, it made me wonder and go on to contemplate (a lot) about what the attraction to RSE had been in the first place; especially when at the time I was quite secure within the Buddhist path.

For a while I considered the events that had taken place in my life just prior to becoming involved with RSE, as there were some major changes at that time. In one fell swoop, I was without a partner or spiritual teacher due to the death of my husband of 22 years. Sure, it left me to seek out another teacher but I don't recall being in a hurry to do so, nor was I in a state of grief over my husband's passing. It was his time and he chose to move on. Nonetheless, was I more vulnerable to a cult like RSE? Probably, but in short and in all honesty, I think that RSE initially appealed to a chronic tendency toward laziness.

The Buddhist path is a long (lifetimes) and arduous one and RSE was presented as a quick and relatively easy way to attain 'something' that I had been consciously working towards for over 25 years in this life.
One may call that 'something' enlightenment, salvation, ascension beyond human nature or whatever seems appropriate to one's own understanding, but the common definitive denominator of all these terms seems to be the transformation of the foibles of human existence or human nature to something greater.

Catholicism and Christianity seem to address this desire through scriptural reference of Christ apparently saying "Get behind me, Shaytan (Satan)", when He was confronted with the perception of his own humanity's failings. Shaytan is Arabic for devil and has been interpreted in this context as possibly meaning 'the evil tendencies of the human condition or as the cause of human despair'. In Buddhism, the equivalent to Shaytan or the devil in this context is self concern or self grasping.

Even though the primary motive for attending RSE was to more quickly attain or at least enhance the ability to be of benefit to others, the RSE program was in direct conflict with some of the Buddhist vows that I had taken. In Buddhism, one may return vows to a preceptor for safe keeping, so as to not break them when one knows that the potential for incurring a downfall exists; so I did that without explanation to anyone as to why. Such vows may later be taken up again if and when appropriate, but that potential was far from my mind as RSE quickly began to appeal to a more selfish motive; even if it seemed justified at the time as a means to attain the original goal. It didn't take long (two or three events), for me to adopt that line of reasoning, as well as other even more confused ones under RSE's program with the passage of time.

It was only after 3 years of relatively complete dedication to RSE's program that it became apparent (at least to me), that RSE's program was a direct path to Shaytanic (satanic) existence, in the previously related sense. The self-grasping, self-gratifying, self-aggrandizing nature of it all represented the very things that I had dedicated a life toward being free of; so in a state of profound and hopeless despair, I left.

Once free of RSE there was a period of such stupefaction that I was emotionally, intellectually and spiritually paralyzed; unable to go forward or back. I found my way to EMF and being in this community was instrumental in gaining some understanding of what had transpired. It eased the sense of immobility and as that state eased, it was the reevaluation of my childhood roots in Catholicism, followed by a closer examination of Buddhism that brought a realization forward.

I came to accept that despite all the inner confusion I was experiencing post RSE, it was apparent that what had produced the greatest levels of peace and happiness throughout my life were the practices that were common to both of the religions that I had personal experience with; Catholicism and Buddhism.
Many have pointed out that the practices of love, compassion, forgiveness, tolerance, contentment and self-discipline have proven to be universally beneficial, and that these practices are common to most religions. IMHO, I truly believe that each individual must prove that to themselves rather than to operate on blind faith or dedication to a particular spiritual path; be that religious or otherwise.

Through contemplation of these things, perhaps it can be better understood why some people might return to or adopt religious practice after leaving a cult. In the final evaluation though, it doesn't seem to matter if the choice to embrace those and perhaps other similar beneficial practices is affiliated with a religion or not.
What seems to matter is the decision to embrace what one has personally proven through experience to be the causes and conditions of happiness for themselves and for others equally

I wish you all true discernment, loyal friends, a life of great meaning and above all...lasting happiness.

With love, Kensho





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[freemysoul]

Thank you Kensho for sharing such a personal and heart felt post. It touched me, and I totally relate to detaching myself from past religious experiences and morality, only to come to the understanding that I was on to something all along. I too have welcomed back those ideals of selflessness, conscience, compassion and forgiveness to my life, and found the solace I had prior to my rse/jz experience in them.
Thanks again Kensho, very well said.