Mom's Move

How to help if you have family or friends in RSE.
Marie
Posts: 174
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:55 pm

Mom's Move

Unread post by Marie »

I haven't had time to write indepth lately, and of course as everyone knows, you could write a BOOK... but wanted to catch people up....

Mom is leaving permenantly for yelm this Sunday.... As far as I know she'll be staying initially at a house my sister owns there, but also rents to two current students... She says she's "going to get a job" and get her own place... Reminder: mom is 74.

I've had a year to digest all of this and where I'm at right now is pretty much this: you don't have to LIKE something to accept it.... Peoples' choices may not be your own and you may not think them wise and you may, in fact, think their decision is foolish and may cause them harm, even potential death or at the very least, a nightmareish existence you can't bear to imagine for them.... But after people turn the age of 18, it is their choice and any anxieties I have as a result of that choice is my own problem....

There is actually a part of me that is really proud of her for having the courage to do something she really believes in.......[this does not mean I condone or believe or approve of rse in any way].......

I don't know if I will ever see her again.... She says she's coming back to visit, but you all know how that goes... She knows I don't have the means to make trips to the west coast and I am not crazy about the idea of being in rse-land.......I will worry not only about how her involvement in rse is affecting her, but also how she's coping in THAT environment at her age....She has the usual memory / confusion probs people at her age have and being in that environment makes her seem that much more vulnerable to me... I'll just have to wait and see on a whole lot of things... I do know it will be a good thing for me not to be living with an current student -- it is much like living with an active alcoholic, lots of craziness type thinking and issues.

As far as my sister and her health issues -- she had the surgery that replaced the jaw bone she lost with hip bone due to osteomyalitis she got from a tooth implant -- I guess ramtha didn't come through on that, did he? -- She almost didn't have the surgery up to a few days before it was scheduled because "she was indeed growing her own jaw bone back".... My mother said "they could see it on the xrays".... Note how this miracle of bone growing never showed up in the news and her doctor still felt it was a good idea to rebuild her lost jaw bone with her own hip bone.... It was sad really, in a serious way, to see them both so under this dillusion.

Anyway, that's all for now... I'll keep you posted on mom.
Marie
Posts: 174
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:55 pm

Unread post by Marie »

something she really believes in.......[
I meant to say "believes in" is really a debateable term at this point, since it is MY belief that she no longer is really making decisons based on critical thinking and "free will."
tree
Posts: 974
Joined: Sun May 18, 2008 12:31 am

Unread post by tree »

Marie-
I am very sad to hear of this news with your mother.
Gosh, what else does one say?

On the one alcoholic- like hand, I am happy for you.
on the hand of the daughter, it is a very very sad step. I personally know
that path of moving to Yelm.

As far as your sister, I am happy for you she had the surgery.
Her brain is definitely not right if she thought she could heal that herself.

I am not quite sure how to adequately express compassion and sadness at the loss of your mother to a group.
It is beyond words.

So, big hugs.
Tree
Whatchamacallit
Posts: 880
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:17 pm
Location: Earth
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Unread post by Whatchamacallit »

Marie said, "I meant to say "believes in" is really a debateable term at this point, since it is MY belief that she no longer is really making decisons based on critical thinking and "free will." "

It's not so common that we'd see our parent make a mistake that's obvious to us. Usually, it's our parents who are warning us about some roadblock we're heading for. But, we don't always listen to our parents and we make our own mistakes. Here you are, in the opposite situation ! There is only so much you could ever say, because we all do our own thing. If we're closed to communication about whatever "it" is, forget it. Perhaps the best thing is just what you're doing; avoiding a fight about it. This way, you've kept the door open. Hopefully, she'll come walking back in it, sooner rather than later. The average number of years that someone is in a cult is 2 - 3 years. Of course there are exceptions, but that might not be the case for her and your sister. Good luck.

Keep us posted.
Marie
Posts: 174
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 7:55 pm

Unread post by Marie »

Yep, not much to say that hasn't been said before. Thank you both for your kind words.

Whatcha -- interesting you mentioned she and I being in "opposite" parental / child roles -- I have felt our relationship was always more upside down that way than not.
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