This is my first post on EMF

How to help if you have family or friends in RSE.
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xindy
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This is my first post on EMF

Unread post by xindy »

Hi Everyone,
I am on this site because my sister, who is a recovering RSE member and posts on EMF, invited me to read some of the posts to get some idea of the extent of damage ex-members experience. She tells me there are certain "triggers" that confuse her b/c she isn't sure if it is Ramtha's teachings or if it is true. She seems to be unable to complete a thought when she speaks, she will suddenly jump to another topic, never completing what she was first speaking about. That's not the same sister I had before her involvement with RSE. She was a wonderful public speaker! Now she has such doubts in herself.

I am her older sister and I LOVE HER dearly and I want to support her in her recovery. I know she wanted me to see what other RSE members go through when exiting the cult. This is the only way I'll be able to help her, by learning what is going on in her head. I've watched the LARSE videos but noticed many questioners were actually defending Ramtha. I think they were plants for JZ.

I am so proud that my sister didn't stay in RSE for as long as some of the posters whose stories were simply horrifying to me. My only knowledge of RSE was from videos and multitudes of literature my sister had given me when she happened upon Ramtha's School of Enlightenment while searching for "POWERS" that all humans can develop, mainly "healing." Our youngest sister had Stage 4 cancer so this was her goal, to be able to heal her through positive energy thoughts. She sincerely believed this was going to work and she devoted months and months to be at RSE rather than with our dying sister--this is a huge reason for her depression, that she could have been with her sister rather than with some 35,000 yr. old entity. She can't forgive herself for falling for such a trap. Our sister passed away last year and my sis (recovering RSE member) had a mental breakdown. I could barely hold myself together and I had NEVER been involved in a cult of any kind so now I'm reading about mind control b/c my sister was an unknowing victim and I need to know what was done to her.

I tried to tell my sis that she was doing something that she thought was really going to work and she did this out of LOVE for our youngest sister. I told her it was the teaching that was wrong, but not her because at that time she was still in disbelief that our sister actually died, even though, in her heart, she believed she was going to heal her.

Dear God! I instinctively knew that RSE was a cult after reading the literature and watching the videos my sis gave me. I didn't judge her as she had been searching for a very long time for exactly what RSE said they could give her. She's a brilliant woman and she was constantly going to RSE and upon her return from her many trips, we barely talked to one another as she was constantly meditating. She was becoming a stranger to me and I was terrified as I knew her behavior wasn't exactly normal or the way she was before.

When my sister was at RSE for the last time, she realized that first everyone was told about free thinking but suddenly rules were imposed which nullified free thinking. Ramtha was also becoming vulgar and what she thought was solid ground was actually a rabbit hole into which she fell. She escaped but had and has a long long way to go.

I've read quite a few posts from ex-RSE that actually left their families and were Ramtha believers for 20 or 30 years. I admire you all for the strength to actually walk away and now help others. I'm so happy my sister found this web site as it does help to speak to others who've experienced this mind control.

Ya know, I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but, I think JZ Knight has been brainwashed herself. Why would anyone want to live like her on a daily basis. She has NO life! All her wealth, does she enjoy it? If she is a victim herself, then I truly feel sad for her.

What will happen when she dies? She teaches eternal life and that she and Ramtha's followers are god.

Thank You All for your honesty and courage. :D
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
Whatchamacallit
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Unread post by Whatchamacallit »

Hi xindy,

It sure does sound like your sister is recovering with the typical after-the-cult symptoms that many of us went through. It really affects your thinking process when you are being mind controlled/brainwashed to whatever degree. Recovery takes time and there are some phases that people typically go through.

I strongly suggest you get the book, Take Back Your Life by Janja Lilich and both of you can read it. It will open her eyes to many things, while also giving you both issues for conversation. It's a very good book, with a lot of "Oh, my !" moments as she will identify with the entire process of how she got in, what she felt along the way, and then what she thought/felt as she was leaving and starting recovery. There really is light at the end of the tunnel and she'll get there like the rest of us, in her own way and on her own timetable.

When did she leave ?? Did she get any pressure to remain or to return ?

Could you elaborate on your reference to Ramtha getting vulgar ? Wine ceremonies ??? Was it toward HER ?
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xindy
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Unread post by xindy »

Hi Watchamacallit,

I think my sister already bought the book, Take Back Your Life, as it sounds very familiar to me. She was in RSE for maybe 4 months (that's a guess). She said she was at a wine ceremony once but she mentioned something about not drinking it and being in a lock-down. :?:

She and a few others left when she did as something occurred that really opened their eyes to the deception. I think it was when she was staying in a trailer & it was very cold & raining & something was wrong with her heat & she could have died from carbon monoxide poisoning. She kept her door open b/c she didn't turn the heat on for fear that it wasn't fixed. She said she & others could hear music which she described at subliminal. She ended up getting pneumonia. As far as vulgarity, Ramtha used the "F" word quite often & my sister thought, God wouldn't ever speak like that!

Nobody tried to make her stay or to return. When she left, she was sick, weak & felt betrayed. She was extremely depressed.
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
Whatchamacallit
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Unread post by Whatchamacallit »

I've heard similar stories about the RV's in disrepair and not having adequate heat, etc. I had that happen to me once, too.

I remember a time when it was too late to leave the ranch and I ended up in the back of my car, freezing ! I covered up with everything I could get my hands on but I was still shivering. Eventually, I did warm up, as the windows steamed and some "heat" (I use that word very loosely !) got trapped inside the small car.

It's a blessing in disguise that sister got sick as it seems to be the experience that just pushed her out the gate.

Oh, yeah ! It's very common to leave and feel very depressed. She's very lucky she got out very early on.
tree
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Unread post by tree »

Thank you for your post Xindy.
It is always eye opening to hear from family members and what they observe from the outside.
I was really moved by your vernacular as not one iota had any verbage of RSE.

It has been my experience and observation that recovery takes a very long time.
One never knows when I bizarre loose trigger will pop up
leaving as ex member to question, "um, is this real? "

Thank you again.
Your words are refreshing.
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xindy
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Unread post by xindy »

Thank You Tree. I've read many of your posts and, if I remember correctly, you were in RSE for many years. You are astounding! I've never been affiliated with cults of any kind and I am quite ignorant as to the terms many of you reference, so I'll be asking a lot of questions as to what something means. I'm also going to watch some videos that are listed on the Main EMF Forum Board.

I've seen what this group has done to my sister and she is still so fragile that I feel the need to protect her from her own thoughts. She DOES want me to understand what she went through and that's why she gave me the link to Enlighten Me Free.

It may seem uncanny to some, but, I KNOW when she's having a hard time and she KNOWS when I'm having a hard time. We don't live close to each other (almost 300 miles) but we phone or email each other. When we are both grieving the loss of our youngest sister, it's ALWAYS at the same time. We're linked to each other through our blood but I believe it's through our HEART moreso, we both lost a part of our heart when our sister passed away. Our mother also has this "ability, intuition, or whatever you want to label it" and it's very normal for us to feel each other's pain. I feel my sister's pain re RSE, but I can't understand it b/c I didn't experience it myself...so I DON'T know how to deal with the pain I'm feeling from her.

Tree, you are truly an inspiration to others. You have courage and conviction and I admire you greatly.
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
tree
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Unread post by tree »

Dear Xindy-

Thank you ever so much. wow.

You know, for my first several months here on EMF , I posted my recoverying journey pretty much as I was
experiencing it. I somehow knew that some one, some where, might be able to identify with it.
And then I would get bombarded in town by Ramsters, or the moderators thought I was over
the top and attacking someone, so I backed off a fair bit.
For me, I think (and have actually heard from several people) I have helped even those who just 'gradually
drifted away' from RSE because they had some tangible aspects they were not quite understanding
what they were going through upon leaving.

I can TOTALLY feel your empathy for your sister when she is having an especially difficult time.
Warning: those episodes will continue but maybe be spaced out more and more over time.

Here is an example.
I moved a tremendous distance away from Yelm as both diagnosing psychiatrists concluded that me being
around Yelm was very "toxic". I kid you not. They hit the nail on the head.
Every tree I looked at, every wind that blew, not to mention every person in town or the state of WA was a catalyst
for a trigger and an "episode" as I came to call them.
So, without funds or community awareness that cults bring, I just knew I had to leave, just to get to sqaure 1, meaning
able to function and care for myself (feeding, clothing, driving etc) without having ANY thought of the teachings or "Ramtha".
So, after a several hundred mile geogrpahical adjustment,
I decide I need to get a job, as I have been afforded a very nice apartment, time, food, etc by my very dear best friend
who has seen me through this entire process from my last year at RSE through the present time.
Well, ALL the prospective employers want to know why such short duration of a work history over the past 20 years
(my tenure at RSE). Why did I move from job to job after 1 yr? (5 was the max as I was employed by RSE).
They want to know what prompted such a huge move.
They want to know why I did not stay in such and such a field for very long (change and chaos are good, right? If you leave a job
or a spouse or living arrangement while an RSE member, that is "good " and "you are evolvling".)
They want to know if they can contact my last three places of employment (all Ramsters).
They want to know when they check my credit report (recall, everything was going to hell in a hand basket while in RSE,
so charge the max on your cards and credit, then file for bankruptcy) why my credit is not stellar.

And these are just BASIC things people do and try to portray in a very nice, incandescant light, out in the "real" world.

So, I go to take my dog for a walk.
And some kid has his stereo BLARING from his car, a song from Kansas (associated with the wine ceremony days).
I am instantly triggered and have total recall from an evening wine ceremony.
I see the people totally drunk.
I see Ramtha on stage.
I know what I was wearing.
I know what I was feeling.
I know what I was thinking.
Meanwhile, my present body is walking my dog down a new street.
I run back to the apartment (which the building nor the trees resemble Yelm)
and call my friend as I cannot tell the difference between that which I am experiencing in my mind/head
and that which I am experiencing on that road, walking my dog.
In fact, the road and the dog are less real than my reaction and memory to my time at RSE.

Thank god your sister has you as a support.
She will for ever treasure your willingness to understand.
She will for ever treasure your intuitiveness to be there for you when you know she is nearly over-the-edge
( I can"t stress this last one enough).
You will be, her first viable source of trust upon leaving such a group.

I know you can't be with her every time she experiences a trigger.
And I know you can't be with her every time she has a meltdown or becomes despondant.
But....
you will be the one person she knows she can trust.

I am sooo glad she has you.
And I am SOOOO glad you are there for her.

God(whatever that means -seriously) bless you both.

And thank her for sharing this site with you.
This site literally, saved my life.
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xindy
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Unread post by xindy »

I know you can't be with her every time she experiences a trigger. And I know you can't be with her every time she has a meltdown or becomes despondant. But.... you will be the one person she knows she can trust. I am sooo glad she has you. And I am SOOOO glad you are there for her. God(whatever that means -seriously) bless you both. And thank her for sharing this site with you. This site literally, saved my life.
Oh Tree, your story & kindness has me in tears. Thank You for this wonderful tribute. I'm so happy your life was saved as it's precious. May God always watch over you and guide you for He is the true Light. I believe in the God of Love and if you don't, that's OK, you have a clear reason for maybe doubting Him after everything you went through. Take Care.
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
ordinarymind
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Unread post by ordinarymind »

Thank you for your post Tree, that is so moving ?.I was a current student when I began reading EMF ?I wasn?t even wavering really, even though I had quit once before (but that was because I thought I wasn?t ?getting it?, it was my fault ?as we?ve all posted on another thread ..) ? a friend referred me to this site and it was reading your posts Tree along with some others that ?brought me to my senses? so to speak and I haven?t been back to RSE since. So, yes, Tree, indeed your posts have helped many people and I am one of them. Thank you for your bravery and your honesty and openness.

I can only imagine what you must be experiencing as the simple, every day experiences like walking your dog and hearing a piece of music slams you back in your mind to a wine ceremony and what you were seeing, experiencing, thinking and even wearing. I hope your dear friend is as good a support to you as it sounds like Xindy is to her sister. God knows we need at least one person who loves and understands us enough to be there for us as we go through this lurching process of recovery. Thanks Tree and, god bless you too.
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Unread post by joe sz »

xindy
welcome and thanks for the support you give emf with your words.

Recovery goes in stages for everyone with some using various strategies. I was never in RSE but as most folks with emf know, I had spoent some time with a similar but much larger cult in the late 70s to 1980. I lost a marriage over that short stint among other things including some self-esteem. My primary recovery strategy was fueled by my anger over being such an idiot for any length of time. Anger without a constructive outlet leads to frustration and anxiety which easily can lead to clinical depression. I channeled my anger immediately into a hellofa lot of useful research, doing lectures and then inadvertently becoming what I am now, a consultant in this unwieldy territory of cults.

Tree, your description of a trigger episode and "dissociation" was absolutely right on and I dare say "poetic.' You could rap that one!

There are strategies to help with triggers and dissociation. The trick is to catch the response early and redirect one's attention. Once one dissociates, the mind is in a state of hypnotiv trance or activated imagination like in an intense daydream. Once there the locus of control is taken away temporarily as if you were a swimmer caught in a riptide. Best go with it, try to breath normally, because it will end. Fighting it can be tougher. But as with riptides, if the swimmer notices or senses it early enough, redirecting oneself away can help. Different things work for different people.

For example, to keep from going into trances when I used to go to research cult lectures that require the audience to meditate, listen to guided meditation or chant, I merely looked at my shoes or thought about my notes or gently observe my surroundings and think my thoughts----as an artist I float away easily so I am a good trance subject if I allow it.

To avoid dissociation and anxiety from triggers one might redirect attention asap to a counter trigger like one's shoes or one's plans that evening, an image of guru as clown, or just call a friend on a cell phone. That may be easier said than done, I know, but with practice most people find ways to cope this way until the triggering wears away over the months and years.

Joe
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xindy
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Unread post by xindy »

Thank You Joe, it's a pleasure being here. I watched both LARSE videos you were in. My sister mentioned your name to me and that's why I first watched your videos. Thank You for helping those that feel they are beyond help. My sister has made some progress but then I suddenly feel her punishing herself for being in RSE rather than spending her time with our dying sister. I see her going backwards and I try to stop that momentum by explaining to her that she truly believed at that time that she was doing something that was going to heal our sister and that she's carrying way too much undeserved guilt. She was such a strong person and she helped me when I had personal problems. We understand how important it is to prioritize our life. We know that nothing can replace the comfort we feel when with our entire family, I see her face actually glow with happiness when we're all together. She & I embrace so tightly, I can hardly breathe.

Tree, I have been reading about your episode with walking your dog over and over. What terror you must have felt when you didn't know what was reality. I've tried to envision that happening to me and the closest I can get is when I've awakened from a "nightmare" and don't know if it was real or imaginery. I've awakened to find myself crying, sweating profusely, my breathing was excelerated and I would be shaking and very confused. I know how frightened I was and that's my only way of relating to what you had experienced.

After 20 years of devoting your life to some belief that basically destroyed you, I can't believe how far you've come. You would make an excellent counselor like Joe. I've been trying to educate myself as to the ceremonies that had taken place through the reading of posts by others. I've come to the conclusion that more education is needed to inform the general public how to avoid themselves from being victimized like so many of the members of EMF have been. For someone like me, never having experienced mind control, my heart literally breaks when I read these posts of the abuse RSE members endured, what they gave up, how they are trying to take back control of their lives. I can see how they can't do it by themselves. This web site is a wonderful tool to get started, but counseling, psychiatric help and ex-members such as yourself are their lifeline.

ordinarymind, Tree's post was quite an eye-opener for me as to the destructive nature of this cult. I've read how they manipulate you into believing that if what they taught you doesn't work for you, it's YOUR fault b/c you aren't reading their literature, etc. They NEVER take blame for their perverse methods of taking away your self-worth, in fact it appears that they "feed" themselves on their ability to create a shell of a human being who can't think for themselves. I haven't been on EMF long enough to get into more aspects of RSE's teachings. I wish I knew more so that maybe besides helping my sister, I can somehow help others who are like her.

Another amazing thing I found in the posts I've read so far, is how ex-members can add humor when they look back at what they participated. I've always believed that laughing, especially at oneself, feels GOOD. Laughing is healthy for mind, body and soul.

I can see just how valuable EMF is, as I feel I'm being helped even though I'm just a family member of an ex-RSE follower. [/b]
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
Whatchamacallit
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two cents or so

Unread post by Whatchamacallit »

xindy,

it's not uncommon to seemingly "go backwards" for a while after leaving rse. there are so many things that you go over in your head. sometimes you plan to, because you're consciously revisiting all of the experiences that bear out the red flags that eventually overruled staying there. sometimes, it's because of a trigger that puts you back there in your mind, and your emotions. but, despite that it's hard to go through that (or witness your sister going through it), it's part of the overall healing/recovery process. facing those issues, and redefining them (they have no power over us...anymore) will slowly and steadily free your sister from her experiences there. she will probably need to talk about these things as they come up.

the phase your sister is in, is one we all go through. your sister is helpless to change the fact that she put her dying sister's opportunity for support on the back burner because she believed she was helping in a different way. i did the same thing when i left my children to attend events. while they were well cared for, it is years of time that i can't ever replace with them and i do resent that. it doesn't control my life in any unhealthy way, but it's something that despite rse's teachings, i can't go back and change the past time. it was what it was and some of them are grown now, having been robbed of their mother's time and attention when it shouldn't have happened that way. NOW, we are "making up for lost time", but that time can never be replaced. it's hard for me to look at their childhood pictures as i am scrapbooking them for them. i focus my attention on the time we have now, because it's all we have. i understand that your sister can't do that with the sister you both lost. i just want you / her to know that she is so not alone in that process, though. i think almost all ex-ramsters have such a tale to tell when they've left realizing they were duped by a fraud. sister has to forgive herself, which is going to take time. her time. we can't push these things as it's an entire emotional process. (not saying anyone IS pushing it, either)

the very bottom line with rse is that the teachings state that we are each god. if god exists and is omnipresent, one could say ...yeah, sure. we're all a spark of god. this goes beyond that. rse says that we are god, with all godly powers latent within us. rse states that EVERYTHING we think affects our reality, and that our thoughts are things, which will come back to us either good/bad, based on WHAT the thought was. therefore, every good or bad thing we experience is of our own creation. therefore, one can only be wrong themselves when things "bad" happen to them. (that's the thinking, which of course is ridiculous) what they fail to be responsible for is their OWN individual choices TOWARD another person.

for example: if a customer is planning to attend their next event, instead of accepting responsibility that they didn't earn the money, they will use another person as silly putty in their own "creation/manifestation" and steal the money from them. of course, not all of them would do that, but so many have on some level "taken" from others to call it manifesting, that "ramtha" has had to address the problem in audience. anytime something "bad" happens to a person, the others thinking is along the line of "you created it", RATHER THAN, "what was the person who DID the wrong, doing; because THEY are wrong to have chosen to do a wrong upon another person." it's very twisted thinking.

little children who are abused or neglected did not "manifest" it. cancer sufferers did not sit around making cards (a discipline) to focus upon saying that they wanted cancer. now, THEIR response, their attempt to explain "why bad things happen to good people", is that it's their karma, or they wanted an experience and the "wrong/bad" action is how the experience came to them, therefore there is purposeful good in EVERYTHING (including murder and rape, etc ?). never do they point the finger of responsibility upon the person who CHOSE wrongdoing, and say it's THEIR karma, or fault, or manifestation and hold them accountable. to sustain that belief, however backward it is, supports rse/jzr in getting away with certain actions.

i have personally witnessed at least two occasions where "ramtha" physically assault/battery upon two adults; one male, one female. the brainwashed students who do not think for themselves because they have given all of their power away TO their "ramtha/guru", will idly stand by and say that ramtha knew what was best for that person. one man died in the audience from a heart attack; this after ramtha said for YEARS that, "nobody dies in my audience."

lies, lies and more lies.

further, customers are taught that they can use their god-latent power by simply doing the disciplines that are taught, so that you can heal ANY disease, you can bilocate your body, dematerialize/rematerialize your body, see into the future, do remote view, communicate with aliens, plan for interactions with them, override the reality of others because you are the stronger god, etc.

now, keep in mind that when a woman filed a complaint with the washington state attorney general's office, and jz responded to the letter via one of her lawyers, it was stated that the school is ONLY intended for people to feel better about their lives. clearly, that is a far different claim than the one made at rse to the customers. some call that fraud. i know i do.

and those who are in jz's inner circle who enable these things are, in my opinion, leeches on her ***system***. it's almost laughable that rse is so anti-government, when rse acts like a governmental dictatorship. if it weren't for the people's lives who get derailed and damaged, it would be laughable.

laughing...that brings me to another issue. sometimes on this forum, those of us who have "laughed at ourselves" have been mistaken as "mocking". while i hesitate to speak on anyone else's behalf, i do know and agree with you, that being able to look at the folly of the journey we had in rse, is also part of healing. do we refrain from this because it might hurt someone's feeling ? personally, i don't think so. i think that being downright RUDE is one thing; but some healthy laughter at how foolish we were in certain instances, is healthy. consider the alternative; depression or worse. laughter is a good "medicine".
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xindy
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Unread post by xindy »

Thank You for defining the "phase" my sister is in. It is true, she cannot regain the time she lost b/c of her belief that she WOULD heal our sister and proceeded to follow that path of "thinking away our sister's cancer." Her GUILT of being so vulnerable and also her ANGER at letting herself be manipulated into thinking she was god is incomprehensible to her. She and I were brought up as strict Roman Catholics and we were taught that only the one true God could heal. She believed that until Ramtha and that's why she feels she also betrayed "God."

She wanted me to see what she was taught to believe and that's why she gave me the link to EMF. I KNOW, in my heart, there are things she may have participated in but she's unable to tell me outright b/c she's embarrassed. So seeing what "rituals" take place at RSE could help me better understand what happened to her. She knows I am NOT judgemental b/c I believe in FREE THOUGHT but before RSE, she could tell me ANYTHING without being embarrassed. I Love her and I'm going to learn through the posts on the message board and the recommended videos and books, how to truly help her. Maybe this is my purpose in life. I believe in the Holy Trinity and feel I'm somehow being guided to the correct path where I can do the most good.
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
Whatchamacallit
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Unread post by Whatchamacallit »

xindy,

"Ramtha/JZ" seriously bashes ALL religions, and they have, perhaps, a favorite penchant for bashing the Catholic religion. Supposedly, the pope is the anti-christ...whatever. I'm just letting you know what she's heard, that's all. Given a Catholic upbringing, in reflection, I can understand how it would be so hard.

In that book, Take Back Your Life, it addresses one of the first "phases" if you will, being the guilt and anger. It's good; she has to go through it.

If you read where I've posted in the past (I'll summarize again to save you time), I have likened it to a death in the family. When you're in a cult for so many years, and you've searched for God and the meaning of Life for so many years, and given the benefit of the doubt to the person (JZR) claiming the claims that s/he has, you are invested not only financially (that's the least of it), but emotionally and spiritually and psychologically invested. When the time comes that you realize you were scammed...spiritually raped, I call it, it hurts beyond words.

Slowly, you deal with it. Sometimes folks get professional help to deal with it. Whatever works !!! I don't think any of us "get over it". You simply work through it, put it in a special place of "painful life experiences that you must move forward from but you'll never get over", and you move forward with your life. I have an emotional space inside me that is my RSE journey. It's a place of some laughter, some fun, some learning, but mostly a place of betrayal, and bottom line, being spirituall raped. I was there the better part of 20 years, sometimes attending only twice a year, many times going far more often than that. That place I have, of grief, sadness, anger, disappointment, etc., will always be there, but the key is, in my opinion, IT NOW HAS PERSPECTIVE in the totality of my life. The falling away of that part of my life left a space that was like losing something you love. What's worse, is you can only discuss it with very, very few people.

I haven't had a lot of painful experiences in my life, but I've had some. RSE was the worst experience of my life. I was a dedicated, sincere, honest student. But, I was lied to. The claims made there are fraudulent in my opinion. Not because "I couldn't do the work" as the students are brainwashed to believe by JZR. But because I was finally able, when it became SO debased there, to just think to myself, "This is NOT okay and it's NOT acceptable behavior on the part of the "GOD-teacher", and I'm not going to say that "he" knows best because he clearly has created in "his" reality...the use of ABUSE on many levels. It's time to leave."

It took me almost two years to physically leave. I detached on all the other levels FIRST. Then, I attended my last event, knowing it was my last event. After that, I suffered a sense of loss/betrayal at facing the lost years of my life (the kids childhoods) that I could never, ever regain (anger !!!), and I cried for 4 - 6 months, while in an awful funk. My family gave me space. They didn't talk about it unless I brought it up. In my own time. If I needed to "vent" to them, they just listened. NEVER did my husband say to me, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY YOU WASTED?!!" The one thing that my family knew, was that MY intentions were pure. Just misguided.

I am sure you'll both come through this. The rest of us on here have done so and you will, too. Maybe one day you'll move on beyond EMF, and maybe one day you'll be posting stories to someone who starts posting just like you did.

In the meanwhile, thankfully none of us are going to be "focusing on 2009" so that JZ doesn't have to worry about her profit margin. We won't be putting all else on the back burner to make HER event $$$$ with her false claims that neither Ramtha nor her have demonstrated to the entire audiences as legitimate.

One foot in front of the other...
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xindy
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Re: This is my first post on EMF

Unread post by xindy »

I am reposting my FIRST post on EMF to make some necessary corrections that I feel I owe to my sister who has been following my posts. She "enlightened" me with why she wanted me to visit EMF.
Hi Everyone,
I am on this site because my sister, who is a recovering RSE member and posts on EMF, invited me to read some of the posts to get some idea of the extent of damage ex-members experience. She tells me there are certain "triggers" that confuse her b/c she isn't sure if it is Ramtha's teachings or if it is true. She seems to be unable to complete a thought when she speaks, she will suddenly jump to another topic, never completing what she was first speaking about. That's not the same sister I had before her involvement with RSE. She was a wonderful public speaker! Now she has such doubts in herself.

This is the full reason my sister gave me the link to EMF. This is what she told me.
I wanted you to see the qualifications Joe Szimhart held, since you didn't think he was able to help me. But he did, not in a visit, but via email and I have the books they've recommended.
Actually, I was becoming concerned you were getting caught up in the conspiracy theories of late, and that's when I wrote to you, "I feel as though I'm back at RSE! lol" OMG, she was worried about me!

She seems to be unable to complete a thought when she speaks, she will suddenly jump to another topic, never completing what she was first speaking about. That's not the same sister I had before her involvement with RSE. She was a wonderful public speaker! Now she has such doubts in herself.
I should have stated that this was when she FIRST left RSE, not at present. In this area, she has improved immensely.

I am her older sister and I LOVE HER dearly and I want to support her in her recovery. I know she wanted me to see what other RSE members go through when exiting the cult. This is the only way I'll be able to help her, by learning what is going on in her head. I've watched the LARSE videos but noticed many questioners were actually defending Ramtha. I think they were plants for JZ.

I am so proud that my sister didn't stay in RSE for as long as some of the posters whose stories were simply horrifying to me. My only knowledge of RSE was from videos and multitudes of literature my sister had given me when she happened upon Ramtha's School of Enlightenment while searching for "POWERS" that all humans can develop, mainly "healing." Our youngest sister had Stage 4 cancer so this was her goal, to be able to heal her through positive energy thoughts. She sincerely believed this was going to work and she devoted months and months to be at RSE rather than with our dying sister--this is a huge reason for her depression, that she could have been with her sister rather than with some 35,000 yr. old entity. She can't forgive herself for falling for such a trap. Our sister passed away last year and my sis (recovering RSE member) had a mental breakdown. I could barely hold myself together and I had NEVER been involved in a cult of any kind so now I'm reading about mind control b/c my sister was an unknowing victim and I need to know what was done to her.
This is truly what happened to her when she left RSE after 8 mos.

I tried to tell my sis that she was doing something that she thought was really going to work and she did this out of LOVE for our youngest sister. I told her it was the teaching that was wrong, but not her because at that time she was still in disbelief that our sister actually died, even though, in her heart, she believed she was going to heal her.

Dear God! I instinctively knew that RSE was a cult after reading the literature and watching the videos my sis gave me. I didn't judge her as she had been searching for a very long time for exactly what RSE said they could give her. She's a brilliant woman and she was constantly going to RSE and upon her return from her many trips, we barely talked to one another as she was constantly meditating. She was becoming a stranger to me and I was terrified as I knew her behavior wasn't exactly normal or the way she was before.

When my sister was at RSE for the last time, she realized that first everyone was told about free thinking but suddenly rules were imposed which nullified free thinking. Ramtha was also becoming vulgar and what she thought was solid ground was actually a rabbit hole into which she fell. She escaped but had and has a long long way to go.

I've read quite a few posts from ex-RSE that actually left their families and were Ramtha believers for 20 or 30 years. I admire you all for the strength to actually walk away and now help others. I'm so happy my sister found this web site as it does help to speak to others who've experienced this mind control.

Ya know, I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, but, I think JZ Knight has been brainwashed herself. Why would anyone want to live like her on a daily basis. She has NO life! All her wealth, does she enjoy it? If she is a victim herself, then I truly feel sad for her.

What will happen when she dies? She teaches eternal life and that she and Ramtha's followers are god.

Thank You All for your honesty and courage. :D
My sister told me this. "I don't get on EMF as much as I once did, because I feel I've worked through a good deal of that. The problems I have now are more related to grieving, and being away from my family and true friends."
Since we see each other so little, I was still thinking that she was having problems with the teachings of RSE. Instead it was problems involving our mutual grieving for our youngest sister. I misinterpreted her feelings (but I did know something was hurting her probably b/c I was also hurting for the same reason). This is her reason for getting involved with RSE in her own words.
I was in RSE for eight months. I learned about it through "What the Bleep do We Know?" when I bought the DVD and heard about the "Ancient School of Wisdom." It's been purported that there are legitimate "schools" where one is taught the inner teachings of Jesus, and if one is serious, to seek out the "true" schools of ancient wisdom, and that's where I put my trust. RSE was initially just something that said it could help you widen your scope of "pscyhic" intuition, etc., and that's the first reason I went. When I got there, however, I also learned they taught the ancient art of "healing." Well, Jesus said that we are to "heal." But no one taught us how. So that's why I went back several times.
I am learning so much from EMF through the posts, videos, books and my sister (who is 99% FREE of RSE)! I'd like to continue to learn more about this cult and other cults that use mind control. Now that I've seen first hand what my sister was like when leaving RSE, I've been somehow drawn in to be someone that can provide help and comfort to those leaving cults. Joe helped my sister and maybe he can give me some pointers as to help others who post here. Obviously, Joe knows how to work miracles! I didn't think he could help my sister b/c he wasn't a member of RSE, that's the ONLY reason I doubted him.

Tree, I did help my sister when she left the cult but it seems she's very much "healed" but she knows she can count on me to always be there for her in cult-related or other issues. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that you gave me a tribute that I didn't deserve. I'm sorry if I let you and anyone else down. Please forgive me as I didn't post these things in order to get a pat on the back. I truly thought my sister was still in danger. :cry:
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
Whatchamacallit
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Unread post by Whatchamacallit »

It's GREAT to hear that your sister has come along so far !

Aww, you deserve a pat on the back, I'd say. You're obviously a treasure of a sister, and that's wonderful for both of you. I tell my kids, there are almost 7 billion people on this planet and you have EACH OTHER. Rare, siblings are. Cherish it !!
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xindy
Posts: 68
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:33 pm
Location: USA

Re: This is my first post on EMF

Unread post by xindy »

xindy writes: An Exerpt of my original Post "This is my first post on EMF" NEEDS CLARITY!!!

I am so proud that my sister didn't stay in RSE for as long as some of the posters whose stories were simply horrifying to me. My only knowledge of RSE was from videos and multitudes of literature my sister had given me when she happened upon Ramtha's School of Enlightenment while searching for "POWERS" that all humans can develop, mainly "healing." Our youngest sister had Stage 4 cancer so this was her goal, to be able to heal her through positive energy thoughts. She sincerely believed this was going to work and she devoted months and months to be at RSE rather than with our dying sister--this is a huge reason for her guilt, that she could have been with her sister rather than with some 35,000 yr. old entity. She can't forgive herself for falling for such a trap. Our sister passed away last year and my sis (recovering RSE member) felt as though she failed. I could barely hold myself together & I had a mental breakdown along with my Mom. I had NEVER been involved in a cult of any kind so now I'm reading about mind control b/c my sister was an unknowing victim and I need to know what was done to her as I also suffered consequences of RSE.

I needed to make these revisions b/c I was just dealing with the loss of my sister (12 yrs. younger than me). To me she was not only my sister but my baby. I was 12 yrs. old when she was born & my mother was bedridden after giving birth so I fed, rocked my sister to sleep, bathed her, burped her, did everything my mother would have done had she been well enough. That's why I simply cracked & my mother did too. Again, God pulled us both out of the darkness we were living in and helped us to recover and deal with this overwhelming loss.

My ex-RSE sister was dealing with GUILT mostly but her immediate family helped her & she was smart enough to reach out for help by going to grief counseling & then pursued to help our Mom & me through our grief. No wonder she was able to leave RSE b/c she had more strength than anyone to help the other members of our family even when she was recovering from the mind control she suffered.
"I was CULTivated since my birth unintentionally by Parents following Catholicism."
Whatchamacallit
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Unread post by Whatchamacallit »

Xindy wrote, "My ex-RSE sister was dealing with GUILT mostly but her immediate family helped her & she was smart enough to reach out for help by going to grief counseling & then pursued to help our Mom & me through our grief. No wonder she was able to leave RSE b/c she had more strength than anyone to help the other members of our family even when she was recovering from the mind control she suffered."

sounds like she was vulnerable to rse due to her searching for answers that rse seemed to be giving. in her situation, it was the healing. it's different things for each of us. we believe the initial msg at least enough to get us back again, and then it's INCREMENTALLY downhill from there.
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