Anonymity "freedom from identification on EMF"

[David McCarthy]

ordinarymind,

You would like to email me with your Tel #.
I will call you....and we can look at some options.

David

LARSE@ywave.com

[ordinarymind]

Hi C.D. ..glad to know it isn?t just me!! And thank you David for your
kind offer to call me to figure out some options ?I do appreciate your offer and I
will think about it ?but what I?m noticing is what?s going on inside me as I
consider that possibility ?I?ve become accustomed to my anonymity on this site, and I see I
may not be willing to let go of that yet ?so there is an inner tension in me
between a desire for a conversation with you (and not just about my computer
issues and also a desire to remain safe in my anonymity. So, I?m having to
process all that. What is it that is preventing me from giving you my phone
number? ?and my real name? ?hmm. ?it will take some time for me to get to the bottom of this ?and please know it has nothing to do with you and who you
are . ..I can see from your postings and all you have done how much integrity,
sincerity and commitment you have and I suspect you are a very amazing
individual . ?this is about me ?how willing am I to come out from under my alias? ?.perhaps not yet ?but why ?I will be spending some time over the
holidays thinking about that.

Thank you David

[David McCarthy]

ordinarymind posted.

?I?ve become accustomed to my anonymity on this site, and I see I
may not be willing to let go of that yet ?so there is an inner tension in me
between a desire for a conversation with you (and not just about my computer
issues Cool and also a desire to remain safe in my anonymity.

.....
ordinarymind ..Thank you for your kind words of encouragement,
and for sharing your concerns regarding "anonymity". You make a very good point.
This is a very important issue for us all to look at.
Anonymity is absolutely essential on a forum such as ours.
It acts like a protective bandage around an infected wound, that is best not remove until healing and strength has returned.
And this must come from our choice, with no pressure whatsoever.
Although there are occasions when leaving a bandage on too long can be detrimental.
The need for anonymity is often fed by irrational fears that need to be rooted out.
This is where we can help each other immensely; we can shine a light on those scary monsters to reveal
Just how small and empty they really are.
RSE is Induced fear. That is why for some?. it takes a great deal of courage just to post.
Whatever courage it took to join RSE, it takes a great deal more to get out.
I?ve been out of since 1996, but returned in 1999, just for one event as the music director to celebrate Judith's birthday.
. Once the wine toasting began the whole thing it turned into a drunken fiasco. I was done.
But even after ten years of recovery, I am still astounded by the sheer immensity of Judith?s RSE fraud.
That is still being carried out in broad daylight with virtually no accountability or liability.
We have all learnt at terrible cost? talk is cheap at RSE.."was that an oxymoron?"
Not everyone on EMF is understanding or trustworthy, As we just witnessed with "wolmans" recent hit and run attack..
Trust has to be earned and protected..
EMF is a good place to start, bandages and all.

David.

[Robair]

Hello Ordinarymind
Here is what I think about Anonymity on this site,It is great to have the freedom to speak our mind with out having to think about the destructive consequences that could happen to our real life,and god know that beeing known to ALL is a risk that like you I am not willing to take yet,, but I said Know to all.
But being known by David for me was important,if something happen to me (and it did) on this site,I knew that David known who I am and where I stand, because of that I am not realy concern about the rest of the posters on thiis site think about me , as many of them come and go anyway.
David and Whatch have keep my identity an others very safe
But what I like is knowing that when I write a post I know that I have credibility with the two most important players here,an that is the reason that I have made my self know to them.I do not need at all to know who you are but knowing that David an Whatch know you an respect you would probably make me trust your opinion a bit more, even if you do not care what I think about you.
My Two Cent
Oldone

[G2G]

I felt very comfortable talking to David and Whatcha, and Joe, and allowing them to know my true identity. They have protected it well, and I suspect many other's are "protected" too. It is an individual decision, but I felt more comfortable after speaking with David and Whatcha. It was nice to add a voice and "personality" to what I was reading here, and they are both amazing individuals. As David said, when one is ready to remove the bandage, one will. The best to you on your journey. :) :) :)

[tree]

interesting topic.
I can see its' relevance, but I can also see that
bandages come in many forms, and just because one rips one off
fast, or slow, liken unto duct tape in the tank,
is NOT indicative of what is below.

Fear being indoctrinated from a group such as RSE comes in many degrees.
Several people I know have developed sheer terror as a result of being in the group.
Let's say your first tank experience in the worms induced terror of being suffocated,
only for Rambles to mockingly explain it away as some past life being buried alive.
wrf does she know about you and your past life?
So nowthis person exits RSE, lives in relative anonymity in the world,
but experiences sheer terror while flying due to wanting to put some blinders on to get some shut eye
aboard said flight!
So we have another person, let's say it is me,
who absolutely loved the tank because it felt like a challenging jungle gym from a sometimes friendly
recess period in grade school.
The levels of fear and terror in the aftermath of recovery will be completely different.
Yet, when blogging or writing about such an experience can be revolutionary to someone else
who has not had near the experience of the other two.
This, elicits understanding, compassion and empathy,
ALL of which are not promoted nor tolerated at RSE.
(Recall the "teaching" of " no need to ever apologize to another person EVER!. My partner at the time,
took this literally. And let me just say that they were of the verbally and physically abusive type, Which is
actually the reason why I left them. Could be something the group stirred up as well. Whole 'nother topic.)

So, I think it is all pretty much an individual path here in this regards.

I think of how my state of being at the Ranch was in the last years while attending RSE.
I went from being very very social, interacting with people at most evening events
to, eventually,
avoiding almost all people at events to just slinking into the back rows of the room
because I didn't want to be bothered by anyone or have any interactions whatsoever.
That was years of grooming.

Working one's way out of such a complexity and degrees of emotions
is totally individual.

Blessings on your thought processes and contemplations regarding this topic, ordinary.
Hugs,
Tree

[tree]

Not everyone on EMF is understanding or trustworthy, As we just witnessed with "wolmans" recent hit and run attack..

I shall re-iterate here what I posted after this episode.

Wolfman may have had a temporary lapse of cult personality explode.
We all have that time to time recovering from such a group.
This is not to single him out in any way as not being trust worthy.

Let me give a real life example here.

ok. I have been out for a bit over a year and a half.
From my understanding from Janja Lilich et al,
recovery from cult personality to pre cult personality takes anywhere from 1-2 years.
But again, I think the methods employed are not stressed enough.
I think using a counselor in the process is a HUGE consideration for progress.

That being said.
I am many months out have moved far far away from the toxic environment of Yelm.
I am busy putting my life together with basics for survival here in the world outside of RSE
(survival being used very differently than while IN RSE).

So, I go to list my house with yet another realtor, whom I know,
was over 24 years in RSE and has now moved on to another cult or group
involving high end management successes as a means to "personal growth".
Having been through this process several times with the same house because it did not close,
I was very familiar with the process.

So, I get the MLS agreement faxed to me.
I sign.
And I think, Walla, on the MLS.
uh...not so fast chickie.
The realtor, and me thinking that just because they are not "current" proceeds to grill me for three
weeks concerning every single nitty gritty aspect about the place just to friggin' list it.
I get everything they ask for.
Little did I know, they wait for the title to clear ( now if they had only asked, I would have
told them it was cleared twice already and it was down the street!)
With every e mail and voice mail, I am left with the feeling of absolutely pulling my hair out.
Now, I am DREADING every interaction with this person.
I don't even want to read my e mails, I REALLY don't want to check my voice mails
because every time I do, I get EXTREMELY anxious and on edge.
So, after an e mail that reads:
"I am not going to apologize for my actions.......and, let's make this a non stressful event"






I completely snap at my friend, who has offered to help me just get through
the first stage of endeavoring to sell my house.
They are left feeling totally helpless and they say,
"you can do this on your own."
to which I reply, "Fine! I can do it on my own!"

I take myself out to breakfast, and over breakfast I realize I am having
this insane thought process and reaction, just as I did while in the group.

So NOW, I am sitting there, with RSE egg on my face,
and I realize I am back into RSE way of interacting with others and reacting.
I am horrified at this point, having lashed out at my friend.
I ask to have a conversation about this and I break down crying, again
saying,
omg, I just canNOT interact with them. They instill this craziness that I am so familiar with.
I am SOOOO sorry."

So, for those of you who feel
that you are fully "recovered"
or who do not believe " recovery" is even an issue,
I have a news flash.
Group effects do not go away over night.
Nor can they be ignored.
It is an ongoing process after years and years of indoctrination.

I hope this little story ellicits some compassion and understanding.

[ordinarymind]

interesting topic.
Working one's way out of such a complexity and degrees of emotions
is totally individual.

Blessings on your thought processes and contemplations regarding this topic, ordinary.
Hugs,
Tree

Thanks Tree ...there's lots of layers there and I can see it will take a while to get beyond just scratching the surface with this one.