from jeff adams webs.

[ex]

i found this on jeff adams webside. doesent this ring a bell? its a great laugh.
John Owings Blog
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Global Swarming
Thursday, November 05, 2009 -
I combat stupidity by making fun of it. It's not always effective, but at least it makes me feel better. Global warming is scaring the pants off of so many people, so I thought I'd develop my own scare.



This is just a satire.

It has come to my attention recently that our nation is facing a very serious crisis. Scientists from many backgrounds have reported to me that very soon, nearly 80% of our trees will loose all of their leaves. Some reports tell me that this catastrophe will take place as early this fall! That?s right; the leaves on the effected trees will first change into a myriad of colors - yellow or brown, some of them even orange. Then they will simply fall away from the tree.


What does this mean for us? Well, for starters, it means the end of civilization. These leaves will pile up on our streets, on our lawns, and even on our vehicles. It will clog our gutters, crippling our drainage system and causing massive floods. As the waters rise, our sewage systems will be compromised, bringing deadly diseases, and even plagues. We will die off, one by one, until no one is left.



The cause of this: Mosquitoes. You see, our science shows that there has been an increase in mosquito population. We deduce that since there are more mosquitoes, and the leaves are going to fall off the trees, that the increase in mosquitoes must be the cause. It?s simple logic, really. If you don?t get it, don?t worry. I?m smarter than you, and I get it.



The science supporting this occurrence, the devastation that follows and the cause is absolute. I have conferred with over 4 scientists on this issue. They?ve assured me that they speak for every scientist in the world. I think this satisfactorily demonstrates agreement across the board. Besides, I?ve gone way too far with my concerns to be able to admit that I?m wrong now.



Although there is irrefutable evidence that the leaves have fallen from these trees every year for thousands of years with no negative result, I do not think that we should waste our time entertaining the ramblings of educated people who disagree with me.



So what can we do about this? Well, there?s only one option really, we have to get rid of the mosquito?s source of food. I remember from 2nd grade animal science that mosquitoes feed off of humans and animals. Using simple logic once again, I think we all know what must be done. We will have to euthanize at least 60% of our population. I understand that this will be difficult to do but we have been forced into making this difficult decision. To save humanity, we are going to have to destroy most of it. The science is flawless.


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